What d/s means to me

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Communication

As a dominant it your job to ensure that your submissive’s needs are met as well as your own.  They may well be there to serve you, but they still have needs like any other human being.  My partner has submitted to me wholly.  We discussed the limitations in great length and still continue to do so throughout the course of our relationship.  After sessions, we’ll cuddle and discuss what he did and didn’t like, areas to work on and what he’d like more of in the future.  Feedback is incredibly important for me.  It lets me know that I’m fulfilling my side of the relationship and can continue to reap the benefits of having a submissive male.  Make yourself accessible and easy to talk to.  Listen to your submissive, don’t feel the need to take control over how they feel about a certain situation – they have the right to have their own feelings, that’s not something that you can control.

The Power Exchange

This revolves around love and attention.  Like any other relationship, you get back what you put in.  A submissive isn’t a lesser creature to use and abuse, in fact, the fact that they can give themselves wholly to a person is a strength of character that I find it difficult to even comprehend sometimes.  Your submissive should be the centre of your universe and everything you do should be reminiscent of that.  You became the centre of their universe when you accepted their submission, it’s only fair that they get the same attention and love and affection in return.  Your primary objective in this relationship is to ensure their physical and emotional well-being.   No means no.  Use what you’ve discussed about limitations and stick well within theirs.  Trust is key.  If your submissive doesn’t trust and respect you as a person, then you aren’t worthy of their submission.

Punishment

I’ve never been that big into punishing someone for not fulfilling a specific criteria.  I’m only human and I make mistakes too.   If you do feel the need to punish your submissive for whatever reason, remember that they’re probably already upset for annoying you and generally that their punishment should be fair and actually fit the transgression.  Never over-react.  Don’t lash out at your submissive.  You’re there to look after them and lead them down the right path, remember that they trust you to do this in a fair and just manner.

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