We’ve all been in a relationship where, we were just there for the sake of it… too lazy to break-up and deal with the aftermath… then there’s always the hassle of finding another partner. Hassle. It’s hassle. It takes time, energy, money. I’ve been in relationships where I just stayed because, well, I wasn’t really really unhappy, but I wasn’t happy either. I just existed there, in that time, in that space. After a while though, just existing wasn’t enough. So I came across an article today which spoke truths:-
In order to fully understand the truth behind this situation, you have to remember that all relationships are not created equal. There is a difference between true love and dysfunctional relationships. It is very easy to attract a dysfunctional relationship, the lowest hanging fruit. Those who have not done any inner work will tend to gravitate toward anyone who comes along where they feel a little chemistry. That is why your drama-queen friends always have a man. There is plenty of dysfunction to go around and most people settle for mediocre.
Look at your friends and family. How many of them have the ideal relationship you desire? If you review your romantic history, don’t you feel that most of your past lovers were less than wonderful? Even the ones you felt heartbroken over, you probably look back now and wonder what the heck you saw in that person. You know you can have a relationship, but you don’t just want to settle. You want an extraordinary true love.
The average person settles for mediocre. They don’t learn about life or try to improve themselves. They look for the easy way, the quick fix, and the path of least resistance. Inside of everyone is a yearning for more, but it is often pushed down with blaming others, the economy, their industry and their partners for their lack of satisfaction. They are the same people who think you are the one who is crazy for doing all that self-help, touchy –feely stuff. They never want to get into deep conversations and stick to small talk and gossip.
Because you are reading this I know you are not average…far from it. Instead of suppressing that inner yearning for more, you embrace it. You decide that you are the one who can make a difference and design a life that is more fulfilling. You may tend to be hard on yourself because you want the best in your life. Don’t let this inner drive tear you down and make your wrong for not having what everyone else appears to have.
If you look closely, what most people have is not what you want. Just finding a partner or having wealth doesn’t translate into happiness. Settling for mediocre only reinforces to the person that this is all they deserve. At some level they do know they are settling but won’t admit it or are in deep denial. Don’t make comparisons to others because external appearances can be deceitful.
I don’t believe in all the bullshit therapy that she offers, but she did write a pretty sweet article. I shared the article because it rings true for so many people. There is more than that though. There is more to life. There is more to love. True love and happiness does exist. You can wake up in the morning and think “fuck yeah, I really love my life and I’m really happy”. Most of what’s holding you back from meeting that person is you and all the obstacles you put in the way.
Here’s another awesome article written by Roque Caston, a gay man, on the same topic:
In the interest of balance, another interesting article, this time looking at the topic from the opposite side of the coin, Robert E Goodin suggesting that settling for medicore can be turned into a good thing: