Month: May 2014
Been through about a week of being utterly down. It’s nothing to do with anything in my life, just a chemical imbalance of mine. Starting to perk up again now, I feel like I’m on the up, which is good.
Describing the feeling would be something like – have you ever been so utterly worried or terrified of a mistake you made and you’re wrecking your brain trying to think of a way to fix it? That constant worry and fear, stomach in knots, mind racing… Well it kinda feels like that all the time. I can take meds for it but I’d rather work through it myself than feel like a vegetable. It kinda feels like you’re being sucked into a black hole and you have to hold on tight to sanity and reality.
I’ve spent the past week vegging out, playing dwarf fortress, being anti-social and getting as fucked as possible, because, it’s just a matter of time. I know it will pass and I have the best support network available: my awesome partner and a few good work colleagues and online friends, if I ever need to chat or vent. I try not to make a huge deal of it, just keep myself to myself, I’m a lot quieter than normal. I think the more you observe yourself and your reactions to it on the outside, the easier it becomes to control, to the point where, I know I don’t have to worry about it until it happens again.
My pet’s been keeping me entertained with stories and cuddles and attention and conversation. Honestly, I suffered through so many years of being alone, even when I was in a relationship, feeling like the people around me didn’t give a fuck what was happening to me or why it was happening. Now I know I don’t have to worry about that any more.
Downloaded a copy of mortal online yesterday, although we haven’t had a chance to play it yet.
Mortal Online is a first-person MMORPG in a fantasy setting.
Mortal Online is a next generation PC MMORPG both in terms of graphics and gameplay. There are no PvP zones, only an open realistic world where you are free to choose your own path. Experience true real-time combat where you decide every move your character makes and where your personal skill really matters.
I played Darkfall for a while, and while it has the potential to be an awesome game, we left because it was horrifically unbalanced and the playerbase/community were mostly assholes.
Hoping Mortal Onlne isn’t the same kinda thing.