I’ve been feeling a bit emotionally fragile the past few days. I’m not really sure why. I’ve been getting enough early nights, having enough rest and chill time and eating ok. Work has been good. I’ve been having nice evenings of games, tv and cuddles.
We went to see DevilDriver on Monday night. I actually preferred their support band – Sylosis, who were fucking awesome. It was an ok gig, we didn’t get to stand as close as I’d have liked but there were too many crazies to stand any closer. After that we went back to the hotel and passed out almost immediately. Hangover came swiftly the next day and we spent most of the day zombified.
We made love on Tuesday evening. At that stage, it had been almost 4 days since my last orgasm. I was pretty tense, pent up and almost an emotional wreck. We hadn’t purposley planned on not playing for that long – I think he just had a few days where he was more tired than normal. We had lots of slow, touching, kissing, licking, nibbling, cuddling foreplay, followed by me climbing on top of him and fucking him very slowly until we both came. It was deeply satisfying. We cuddled afterwards, our naked bodies pressed close for warmth.
We had another play session on Wednesday evening, an intensely passionate affair of rubbing and touching. I used a tenga egg on him, he seemed to enjoy it, even though it popped off during the end when he was orgasm, I tried my best to compensate with my hand. I think I succeeded for the most part.
Last night, we played games and watched some tv. I don’t mind the days where we don’t have sex. But sometimes it’s hard for me not to touch him, or strip him or pin him down and use him. I feel like those things would be a breach of what we have – which is trust and respect. I try my best to behave, but sometimes when he’s sitting there, lost in his own little world of spreadsheets and tea, I want to grab him and make him mine again.
I feel like we haven’t done anything terribly kinky in a while. That’s partly due to it being winter and I don’t enjoy putting him in discomfort by making him stark naked on a freezing cold night and partly because it seems like he hasn’t really been all that interested lately in being tied up or pegged (i fucking hate that word) or dressed up, etc. It might be lack of energy, but either way, I don’t like to push when it feels like I’m being unfair. I understand that people aren’t always in the mood or don’t have the energy„ etc. At the same time, I feel like I don’t want to get into a routine of sex where we’re always doing the same thing or using the quickest method to “get off”. Sex and exploring sex is something that I am really passionately enjoy and I’ve just felt like we’ve been a bit lazy recently. When we planned on doing something like, having a dress up day or a green day, etc, it’s not happened. We’ve just lazied around and not done it.
I hate summer, but perhaps sunshine and warmth will give us a bit more energy.
So, let me tell you a little bit about Valentine’s Day. I haven’t written anything in ages – sometimes I just don’t get the urge to write and I figure it’s best waiting until I am in the right mood for it.
I left work a little earlier than usual and got a lift up to the city with two of my work colleagues, we picked my pet up along the way. We sat in the back holding hands as we grew closer to our destination. We got dropped off pretty close to the hotel and ambled over, checked in and headed up to the hotel room. At first, the keycard wouldn’t work on the door so he had to go downstairs and get another. We were up on the 11th floor. When we finally got into the room, we were first taken aback by how absolutely massive it was! Huge comfy bed, big flatscreen tv, bath and shower, really fancy decor and very fabulous. As you can imagine, the view over the city from the 11th floor was breathtaking.
We decided on getting a room service dinner and ordered one. While we were waiting, I went and had a really relaxing bath. The food took a while to arrive, and when it did it wasn’t exactly what I ordered and wasn’t the hottest, but it was tasty enough. We gobbled it down and watched a bit of TV while we were waiting on foods to go down. He had a shower and we got dressed up, went downstairs for a smoke and then into the cocktail bar for a drink. We had the most fabulous strawberry daqcuris, made with fresh strawberries and loads of crushed ice. It was like an orgasm in my mouth. We sat there chatting for an hour or so as we drank and it was just so nice to be out with me and him. We were a bit worried that he might get turned away from the fancy cocktail bar for wearing jeans but it turned out, a load of other people were there in jeans so it was grand. After drinks and smoke, we headed back up to the room.
My big surprise was pending and I got really excited. I went into the bathroom to change into the little outfit that I’d bought. It was a red and black satin chemise with a lace top. It looked pretty nice on. He went into the bathroom to change too and came out in the most gorgeous little pink dress with a frilly corset/petticoat and white stockings. He’d brought heels up too but the carpet was too thick to wear them. I couldn’t stop staring at him, he’d went to all this effort just for me and he looked like divine. I sat there for a while just taking in the little character that he’d created for me. This sweet, innocent, naughty little pet who wanted to be played with, who wanted to be tied up and teased and fucked. That wasn’t the end of the surprises though, he produced a brand new strapon for me with a much bigger jelly dildo than my previous one (which also came with a spare dildo) and also a set of vibrating nipple suction cups. I felt my body tingle and butterflies in my stomach. What did I do to deserve this perfect creature?
I lay down beside him and we kissed, my hands wandered over his body exploring every part of his new costume and the perfect little body underneath. He’d not been allowed to orgasm for two whole days. Two days that I’d spent teasing him and edging him and now here he was, once again, at my mercy. He had his chastity device on underneath his outfit still, he’d worn it for most of the day. I told him to go and take it off, and he did so. He came back with a grin on his face and lay down on the bed beside me again. I put him onto his knees so that I could take in the full view of his layers of frilly petticoat coupled with his perfect little ass. He was obedient, bending to every position I put him in. I slid my body underneath him and licked and sucked him for a little while. I could feel how heavy and achey he was, he’d been so well behaved and continued to be. He didn’t once complain or beg for release, he just lay there and took the teasing, the attention, my hands on him, my mouth on him. I tied him to one of the chairs. I licked and sucked him for a little bit and then positioned the chair beside the bed. I took the spare dildo, a big pink floppy jelly one, and fucked myself with it as he watched. I enjoyed the sensation of his eyes on me and his swollen cock leaked onto his leg. I had him gagged too so he was drooling on himself, it ran down his chin and all over his pretty dress. That just made me wetter, I could feel myself getting close to orgasm, so I stopped, knowing it would be harder to stop the closer I got.
I untied him and put him on the bed face down and bent over. I equipped my new strapon and lubed it up and slowly began fucking his ass. He squirmed around a lot, it was difficult to start – being quite significantly bigger than what he was used to, but we made a little bit of progress with it and we both enjoyed the experience.
I rolled him over onto his front and mounted him and began fucking him as slowly as I could manage. He squirmed and moaned like a pretty little whore and came very fast. I smiled down at him, knowing how hard it must have been for him to even hold out that long.
After that, I held him for a bit and he played with me. It didn’t take him long bringing me to orgasm and delicious it was. The rest of the evening was a hazy blur.
We were awoken at around 5am by a really loud banging. It kinda sounded like someone was banging on a metal tray with a hammer, right outside our bedroom door. We peered out into the corridor and it was completely empty. We took a while trying to figure out where the incessant banging was coming from. We called downstairs to reception but no one answered, and he ended up getting dressed and going down. It was literally so loud, that we couldn’t sleep. He came up 5-10 minutes later with another room card, telling me that they’d given us a new room to sleep in for the rest of the night – that it was a door on the roof banging in the wind and they couldn’t go up there to fix it because it was too dangerous. We got put into an even bigger room with a fancy bathroom, and also – it was a smoking room!! Bonus! We had a smoke and then went to sleep again.
When we woke up, we packed our stuff up between the two rooms and went downstairs to reception to pay. I had a bit of a complain at the lady who was going to take our money and she went and got the manager. The manager apologised profusely and told us that he wouldn’t be charing us for anything. That’s right, we got the entire evening for FREE!!!! The room service, dinner, cocktails, two bedrooms, the works! All free!
We left the hotel after an amazing evening with huge grins. We went and had breakfast in a nice cafe, did a little bit of shopping and came home. My first thought upon entering our home was “sure is nice to be back in the castle”. Of course it’s lovely to go and stay places and hang out somewhere different for a bit, but there’s no place I’d rather be than at home, in our “castle” (that’s what we call it) with my lovely partner and my silly old black one-eared cat.
Image #1 http://vyrhelle-vyrl.deviantart.com/
Image #2 http://anndr.deviantart.com/
A few have you have sent in some questions over the past couple of months that I finally got around to asking my sub. Here they are together with his answers.
1. What first attracted you to femdom?
I found a book discarded by a bus stop when I was younger. Being quite the bookworm, I read it on the bus, and I guess the seeds of alternative lifestyles comes from there. That was my first experience with a lot of things, and I think is probably the root of some of my fetishes. The book was penny in harness by penny birch. The cover attracted me because of the latex, and I enjoyed the book. I’m not really into dressing like a horse, but I guess we all refine our tastes over time!
2. What kind of d/s experience do you have prior to your current relationship?
It just kind of creeps up on you I guess. As I get older I learn more about how I feel about stuff and what I like to do so it’s constantly evolving. I had a few experiences with older, more dominant women than I was used to, and enjoyed it a lot more than the girls around my age I dated when I was a teenager. I thought it was a maturity thing, but looking back I probably enjoyed it more due to the dynamic.
Confident, strong women are much more attractive for me. I guess I have always got a kick out of my partner being in charge, it just sits naturally with me. I had a few relationships when I was younger where, as the male I was expected to be the dominant half and there are a lot of situations I can recall where I was just uncomfortable or unsure or just thinking ‘this should be the other way around’. I still made a few wrong turns on that front, but it lead me to where I am today, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. Meeting my partner changed my life for the better in more ways than I could recap here.
3. What’s your favourite kind of play?
Fave play I flutter through different moods a lot, so it varies a lot. Generally though I’d say my favourite type of play is sensual, involving lots of teasing and intimacy. I like dressing up , it makes me feel more confident and attractive, and I like to feel involved. A middle ground between being someone’s toy and being a test subject.
Feels like I haven’t done an update in forever. I’d like to make this post a mixture of a catchup and a visual feast of the most beautiful black and white abstract art that I can find.
We had a guest staying over at the weekend. We did lots of fun things inclusive of museums, pubs and games. Sexual activity was limited to the bedroom for the weekend. We still had fun though, inclusive of many delicious orgasms.
On Saturday night we got really really drunk. I mean, really drunk. It wasn’t bad sickly drunk though, it was pretty nice, chilled, happy drunk. I ambled down to the bedroom with the intent of going to sleep. My partner and our housemate stayed upstairs chatting and listening to music. I lay there and the room was spinning, so I was alternating between keeping my eyes open and closed. After about half an hour, my pet joined me in bed. He was cold. I pulled his little naked body close to warm him up.
His skin was like satin. He made some lovely little noises as I was cuddling him. My hand strayed down further to touch him gently between the legs. He was aroused. I played with him, I licked him, I sucked him and I fucked him. Alcohol has a profound effect on him – turns him into the naughtiest little whore. He wanted to be used, so that’s exactly what I did. I got myself off on him, a number of times, before finally letting him release – I did make him use a vibrator, I was delighted with how easy it made him cum. Think we got to sleep at about 6am or thereabouts.
Sunday was a break day. We literally sat around and did nothing all day. It was bliss. I feel like my body has slown down a lot in the past two years – alcohol doesn’t seem to be something I can do on a regular basis anymore. A few years ago, I could have drunk a lot more and been less hungover.
On Monday evening, I told him that I’d be locking him in chastity tomorrow. That I’d be teasing him this evening for as long as he could take and locking him up so that he has to suffer all day at work. After a while of teasing, he looked a little panicked, like, he really needed release. I let him cum. He almost passed out afterwards, not before making me cum first though.
My memory is a little fuzzy this morning. I’ve not had many early nights in the past week so I’m feeling a little bit out of sync. I’m also on a diet at the moment, which is hard because I hate eating diet food and I’m feeling constantly hungry and a little bit on edge. I think we had Tuesday off, or, at least – I can’t remember doing anything on Tuesday except lots of cuddling and watching The Bridge (tv series – which is awesome btw).
On Wednesday, I spent over an hour teasing him with my tongue. I remember thinking how good he tasted. I was so aroused from having him in my mouth. I’d to go to the bathroom afterwards and change my panties. Thursday, I dressed him up – short leather dress – and played with some oil. I didn’t hold him too long, he’d taken quite a lot of teasing this week and I wanted to give him a really nice orgasm. I think I did. He writhed around for quite a while. It was late, after 2am, so I told him we should go to sleep.
He promised to make it up to me tomorrow. But, I wasn’t unhappy or overly frustrated. I was in a good mood and contented that he had enjoyable time. I know he gets worried about the balance of orgasms, but I think one thing that he fails to grasp is that, I don’t need to orgasm every time any more. I just need to get into that state of mind where he’s at my mercy. Of course, I love to orgasm. I’ll have some evenings where I can think about nothing else other than having a nice long orgasm… But sometimes, I’ll have evenings where, I just want to saturate him with attention. Even now, after a year of living together, it still feels a little unfamiliar to him. He’s always so eager to please and always looks a bit deflated when I tell him that I don’t want to cum that evening. I guess, I’d be wondering why he didn’t seem that bothered when I said I don’t want to cum. Women eh? There’s no pleasing em.
So, last night, we played some games, had a smoke, watched the last episode of The Bridge. I was nice and chilled, relaxed, lying on the couch with him next to me. Earlier that day he told me that he would like to give me a massage that evening. So he did. There was some debate prior to that, I was rubbing him, teasing him, kissing him and he was getting rather aroused. He had a determination in his eyes though, which was altogether quite cute. He wanted to play with me, to give me a good time.
He went into graphic detail about a standard day and the things I do for him, I sat there, choking back tears, remembering my last relationships and how the people there said that I was lazy and “never did anything around the house” (because some days, I’d be too tired to make dinner or the house wasn’t tidy/clean all of the time – i’m pretty messy). But he sat there, talking about stuff like – making his lunch, buying him treats, making him tea, and well, other little things that won’t make much sense to you, my readers. I felt really really touched though that he’d noticed all these tiny little inconsequential things and also that, because I don’t really sit and think about things like that – they just kind of happen – I never really treated them as a big deal before. I want the best for him. Sometimes I worry that, I don’t really make enough money to be able to buy him all the things that he wants. I’m always pretty skint at the end of the month, with not really much left over – because I don’t earn that much. Money isn’t important to me at all, but I want him to have a cosy, comfortable life.
Now I’m rambling. Let’s rewind a bit. I sat there, soaking up all this information. He wanted to have an evening where I was made to feel special. I feel special every waking moment of my day, knowing that I have such an amazing partner. He turned the heating on and I undressed, lying face down on the sofa. I felt his little hands gently massaging my back. It was relaxing, albeit, short. I turned around and we kissed for a little bit. ”Do you want me to lick you?” he said. I got butterflies in my stomach as I felt his tongue brushing against my clit… gently at first and getting faster.
After quite a while of blissful tongue pleasure, he inserted a finger or two (it’s hard to tell when you’re in that state). I lay back and thought about the week we’d had together and the things I’d done to him, the way he moved his body and the noises he made. The build-up was amazing. I was close to orgasm so many times. He was gentle though, like he held me on edge with ease, not slowing down to the point where I stopped receiving stimulation, but enough of a change of pace to let me enjoy that feeling of bliss. When I came, it hit me really really hard. I could hardly breathe, I felt like I’d lost control of my body for a few minutes. I could feel every single blood vessel in my body. What a massive release. I couldn’t have asked for a better evening, nor a better end to the evening. We played a bit of pokemon and went to bed… a little later than I would have liked, but it’s hard to drag him away from his spreadsheets when he’s enjoying them so much.
This morning, I’m sitting here smiling, thinking about last night. I hope he is too. I’d really like to make love to him tonight. Slowly and passionately. In a nice setting… perhaps by the fire or in a candlelit room, with some nice music on. We haven’t got anything planned for the weekend, so I’m looking forward to lots of gaming, cuddling and time spent together.
I probably had one of the best orgasms of my life last night. After we did some gaming (we’re currently working our way through Path of Exile again), I asked him to roll up and we had a smoke. It hit me really really hard, like, I was completely fucked after about 10-20 minutes. My arms felt really long and the room was wobbling. I had trouble completing the simplest of tasks, like, shutting down my PC.
We moved over to the sofa and he said he was going downstairs to put his new gold dress on. This dress doesn’t look half as fabulous in the photos but here it is… it’s kind of a fake-pvc material, super shiny, super tacky but super fabulous…
While he was downstairs getting ready, it felt like an eternity. I was totally tripping out. I was looking around the room and everything started wobbling, the lamp was wobbling, the floor, the ceiling. I was really chilled out. I had issues focusing though and the only way to sustain focus seemed to be to blink really fast. I attempted to regain my control but it seemed to be slipping from my grasp. I fought the sub-reality with all my strength and finally, he appeared, all glammed up in his shiny new dress and looking fabulous. He looked like a pretty mermaid. Because he has tiny hips, the bottom of the dress sat out, giving it a fish-tailed effect. I asked if he’d like to go downstairs.
Going to the bathroom was hard work. Our bathroom floor has black and white tiles, like a chess board. Every time I look down at them, I felt my reality slipping away again. I attempted to look up at the walls and blink really fast to get out of the bathroom asap. I’d made it. I headed into the bedroom and flopped down onto the bed. He’d put some psytrance on. I began kissing him and touching him.
His cock felt amazing underneath the shiny dress, my hand wanted to smooth it out and rub him. I brought him to close to orgasm a few times, using the dress as a way to bind his cock. Sometimes I motioned that he fuck himself using the bind that I’d created, other times I fucked him softly or hard, depending on what I felt like at that time. I told him that I might make him wait until tomorrow, just because I could. I could see the disappointment on his face, but he took his news with grace.
My favorite part of the session included ordering him onto his knees and spanking his pretty bottom. It looked so amazing in the tight gold dress. I kept him hard while I spanked him. It felt good to have that release. I felt like, he deserved a reward. I rolled him over onto his back again and lifted his skirt, feeling his cock in the flesh for the first time. It looked so pink and used and utterly delicious. I used both hands to bring him to orgasm, one holding the base of his shaft and the other stroking him. He came hard and he lay there shaking for about 10 minutes. I felt a warmth spreading over me.
I lay down and my mind started to wander. I lay there thinking about all the things I’d like to do to him in that gold dress. I felt his hands on me. My body felt so sensitive, too sensitive. Over stimulated. I kept getting lost in the monophonic psytrance. Sometimes I felt too much, other times I went numb. At one point, I went numb completely from the waist down. He suggested we go upstairs for a smoke, to clear our heads. Eventually we did. I’m not sure why that took so long. It was hard to get up. I sat up on the sofa while he had a smoke. I ate some crisps, I think and we eventually ended up back downstairs again.
This time around, I felt a little more alert, that I might be able to sustain a train of thought long enough to reach orgasm. I lay back and got lost as he started to rub me. I fantacisied about having him tied up in his gold dress, about fucking him in the ass in his gold dress, about sharing a vibrator, about just kissing him while we were both dressed up in something pretty. I then started to think about what I was wearing. I felt a little inadequate in my worn pink nightie. He makes so much effort for me and here I am in my ragged night dress probably looking like shit. It’s much harder for me to get decent sexy clothes though in my size. I always try and usually fail. I shouldn’t be thinking about this when he’s playing with me though, insecurities aside, here he is making me feel amazing, relax and enjoy it.
My mind wandered back to what his hand was doing, he was rubbing me and I was starting to dry up a little. I started thinking back to what I’d just done to him and how his cock felt in my hand, how his eyes looked when I told him that he wouldn’t be allowed to cum, how my hand felt when I was spanking his little ass. I was soaking again and his rubbing was in just the right place. I felt my orgasm building and when it hit, it felt completely unexpected. It shot up my spine and down my arms and legs, rendering me helpless for just a moment. I regained control of myself and attempted to control my breathing. I was still orgasming and continued to orgasm for what felt like ages. The warmth spread over my body again.
Ok, before I give you a giggle at some of the more ridiculous private messages I’ve got over the past month on Fetlife, I think it’s important to note that my profile clearly says in HUGE and clear writing that I’m in a monogamous relationship with my submissive and that I’m on Fetlife to share ideas and thoughts, not to engage in intimate conversations or seek any more submissives. You can see that I’ve replied to some in a desperate attempt to at least make them think before PMing, and others I’ve just… well, they’re probably lost causes.
I’ve blocked any names and images for privacy reasons.
I’m here to educate, not to mock. I think my next blog should most definitely be about “How to engage in a conversation with a female dominant”. …. I could even change that to “How to engage in conversation with any sane female”..? Surely it can’t be so difficult? I guess it is, considering that probably 9 out of 10 messages I get on Fetlife are like this. No I’m not joking.
If you have some suggestions for social interaction via BDSM sites, please feel free to send them to me.
Hazy weekend. Probably smoked too much. It helped with the inevitable frustration that I feel after having gone an entire week without orgasming and the pain and the PMS-rage. Stupid period. As well as managing to complete the entire of Dragon Age 2 in one weekend, we also had some fun.
I picked something out for him to wear and gave it to him, telling him to change upstairs. I went with a cute red dress, black suspender belt, stockings and black heeled boots. He also wore his chastity device. I sat him down on a cushioned, wooden chair. I bound his hands behind his back to the chair with PVC tape and bound his ankles to either side of the chair so his legs were spread apart. I tied his chest and neck to the chair with some rope, meaning if he leant forward or attempted to get free, the rope around his neck would prevent him. I warned him to remain calm and still or he may hurt himself through mild choking.
I then blindfolded him and let him sit there for a few minutes. When his blindfold was removed, he found a vibrator strapped between his legs and some sensual lesbian porn on the screen in front of him. I told him to watch the screen. I sat behind him for a while, kissing his neck, cheeks, shoulders, touching his body, feeling it tingle and shudder at the prospect of the vibrator. After a while, I turned the vibrator on. It was about an inch away from his cock. I left it on, so that he could feel the vibrations of the air around him, knowing it was there, but not actually being able to feel it.
After a while, I noticed him starting to shift around, wanting to be touched. I moved the vibrator closer so that it was in direct contact with his chastity device. He moaned immediately and attempted to keep his body still while he was enjoying the pleasure of being touched. I reminded him that he needed to keep watching the screen. At this stage, the lesbians were licking each other and I could see that he was very close to cumming. He was leaking everywhere. I told him to remove the chastity device and he did so, I allowed him one hand to do this and immediately tied it back up again once the device was removed.
I turned the vibrator off and sat behind him again, holding him by his neck, forcing his head in the direction of the porn. I nibbled on his ear, kissed his neck again, licked his lips, whispered in his ear. I reached down with my hand and started toying with his cock while I had my other arm around his neck. I stroked him slowly, but powerfully. I used the vibrator a few more times to tease him, putting it up against my hand so that he could feel the vibrations as I stroked him and eventually, brought him to orgasm.
I untied him and held him for a bit, stroking his beautiful long hair.