Somewhere there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so that you can stay alive. Find it and apologize.
I hope you fall in a hole so deep that you die of thirst before you hit the bottom.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
Everyone who has ever loved you was wrong.
Look, I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
Whoever’s willing to fuck you is just too lazy to jerk off.
Does your ass ever get jealous from all the shit that comes out of your mouth?
You couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego, and jump down to your IQ level.
Two “Congratulations on Breeding” cards that I can totally relate to.