I’ve been feeling a bit emotionally fragile the past few days. I’m not really sure why. I’ve been getting enough early nights, having enough rest and chill time and eating ok. Work has been good. I’ve been having nice evenings of games, tv and cuddles.
We went to see DevilDriver on Monday night. I actually preferred their support band – Sylosis, who were fucking awesome. It was an ok gig, we didn’t get to stand as close as I’d have liked but there were too many crazies to stand any closer. After that we went back to the hotel and passed out almost immediately. Hangover came swiftly the next day and we spent most of the day zombified.
We made love on Tuesday evening. At that stage, it had been almost 4 days since my last orgasm. I was pretty tense, pent up and almost an emotional wreck. We hadn’t purposley planned on not playing for that long – I think he just had a few days where he was more tired than normal. We had lots of slow, touching, kissing, licking, nibbling, cuddling foreplay, followed by me climbing on top of him and fucking him very slowly until we both came. It was deeply satisfying. We cuddled afterwards, our naked bodies pressed close for warmth.
We had another play session on Wednesday evening, an intensely passionate affair of rubbing and touching. I used a tenga egg on him, he seemed to enjoy it, even though it popped off during the end when he was orgasm, I tried my best to compensate with my hand. I think I succeeded for the most part.
Last night, we played games and watched some tv. I don’t mind the days where we don’t have sex. But sometimes it’s hard for me not to touch him, or strip him or pin him down and use him. I feel like those things would be a breach of what we have – which is trust and respect. I try my best to behave, but sometimes when he’s sitting there, lost in his own little world of spreadsheets and tea, I want to grab him and make him mine again.
I feel like we haven’t done anything terribly kinky in a while. That’s partly due to it being winter and I don’t enjoy putting him in discomfort by making him stark naked on a freezing cold night and partly because it seems like he hasn’t really been all that interested lately in being tied up or pegged (i fucking hate that word) or dressed up, etc. It might be lack of energy, but either way, I don’t like to push when it feels like I’m being unfair. I understand that people aren’t always in the mood or don’t have the energy„ etc. At the same time, I feel like I don’t want to get into a routine of sex where we’re always doing the same thing or using the quickest method to “get off”. Sex and exploring sex is something that I am really passionately enjoy and I’ve just felt like we’ve been a bit lazy recently. When we planned on doing something like, having a dress up day or a green day, etc, it’s not happened. We’ve just lazied around and not done it.
I hate summer, but perhaps sunshine and warmth will give us a bit more energy.
1. How anal some of the moderators are.
Some of them just utterly delight in powertripping all over your face and taking their job WAY too seriously.
I’ll give you an example – I asked a question which was “describe subspace using only adjectives” in the “Ask a Submissive” forum. My thread got closed because apparently there was a sticky that covered this. There wasn’t! The closest sticky I could find was “What makes you submissive?” What in the actual fuck? How is that moderation? So we’re not allowed to discuss any of the topics that are sticked at all, despite the fact that some of the “stickies” are no more than 2-3 lines or don’t go into any detail or are total dogshit? What the fuck is the point of having groups then? Why not just sticky everything? Why bother having a forum for OPEN DISCUSSION?
2. Kinky & Popular
When’s the last time you saw an attractive male on K&P? When’s the last time you saw something you could even vaguely classify as “kinky” on K&P? I’m not talking about selfies of naked chicks in front of their bathroom mirrors or a picture of some chick in a corset. I mean, really? That’s the best the fetish community can come up with? All that does is prove to me that Fetlife is full of vanilla guys.
If you don’t worship or pay tribute to some of the more popular people or agree with everything that they say, no matter how fucking retarded, then you instantly get shot down by everyone around you. It bothers me that people in the fetish community can be so narrow-minded… I mean, c’mon, learn to think for yourself… at least sometimes form your own opinon?
4. Private Messages
I made a whole post about this once, where, I get submissive guys messaging me without bothering to first read my profile. I’m cool with the people who are like “oh hey, nice profile, bla bla bla whatever, just being friendly”. That’s fine. It’s the guys that are like “oh hey, im a sub, want to be my domme?” Well actually, no, you fucknugget, I really really don’t. My profile clearly states that i’m in a monogamous relationship. Is it so hard to believe that a domme might be satisfied by having one submissive?
5. The interface/layout
It’s so terrible, outdated and awkward and despite being a supporter and giving them lots of money, it still has the most horrifically arcane interface I’ve ever had the displeasure of encountering.
Last night was a tantalising mix of orgasm denial and forced orgasm. The evening started with a slow, lazy relaxing shared bath. I had it ready for him coming in from work. We sat there and soaked, had a smoke and drank some tea. After that I prepared a strange dinner of crepes, bacon and vanilla icecream – it was Pancake Tuesday so that had to be honoured. Afterward we cuddled up on the couch and watched and spent the evening watching Better Off Ted (season 1, which I’d totally recommend) and having a smoke. We ambled down to bed at around midnight and cuddled / chatted for a bit.
My hands started wandering, as they always do when I have a lovely naked man in my bed. I began stroking him ever so slowly and softly. I told him that I wanted to use him tonight and that I wouldn’t be letting him cum for a few days. He grew harder at the prospect and lay there moaning as I brought him up to orgasm over and over again, stopping just before he couldn’t handle anymore. I decided to have one myself so I fucked him for a little bit until I came.
Afterward I held him for another while and began teasing him again, bringing him close to orgasm then stopping. He came so very close, so many times, while i used so many different techniques. One of my favourite techniques to use is getting him so horny that merely rubbing his cock with one hand, without gripping, is enough to almost send him over the edge. Without warning, I sped up and he exploded in my hand. He’d had a rough day, I wasn’t going to let him go to sleep without a nice orgasm.. He is my little pet afterall.