kinky

Lethargy?

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I’ve been feeling a bit emotionally fragile the past few days.  I’m not really sure why.  I’ve been getting enough early nights, having enough rest and chill time and eating ok.  Work has been good.  I’ve been having nice evenings of games, tv and cuddles.

We went to see DevilDriver on Monday night.  I actually preferred their support band – Sylosis, who were fucking awesome.  It was an ok gig, we didn’t get to stand as close as I’d have liked but there were too many crazies to stand any closer.  After that we went back to the hotel and passed out almost immediately.  Hangover came swiftly the next day and we spent most of the day zombified.

We made love on Tuesday evening.  At that stage, it had been almost 4 days since my last orgasm.  I was pretty tense, pent up and almost an emotional wreck.  We hadn’t purposley planned on not playing for that long – I think he just had a few days where he was more tired than normal.  We had lots of slow, touching, kissing, licking, nibbling, cuddling foreplay, followed by me climbing on top of him and fucking him very slowly until we both came.  It was deeply satisfying.  We cuddled afterwards, our naked bodies pressed close for warmth.

We had another play session on Wednesday evening, an intensely passionate affair of rubbing and touching.  I used a tenga egg on him, he seemed to enjoy it, even though it popped off during the end when he was orgasm, I tried my best to compensate with my hand.  I think I succeeded for the most part.

Last night, we played games and watched some tv.  I don’t mind the days where we don’t have sex.  But sometimes it’s hard for me not to touch him, or strip him or pin him down and use him.  I feel like those things would be a breach of what we have – which is trust and respect.  I try my best to behave, but sometimes when he’s sitting there, lost in his own little world of spreadsheets and tea, I want to grab him and make him mine again.

I feel like we haven’t done anything terribly kinky in a while.  That’s partly due to it being winter and I don’t enjoy putting him in discomfort by making him stark naked on a freezing cold night and partly because it seems like he hasn’t really been all that interested lately in being tied up or pegged (i fucking hate that word) or dressed up, etc.  It might be lack of energy, but either way, I don’t like to push when it feels like I’m being unfair.   I understand that people aren’t always in the mood or don’t  have the energy„ etc.  At the same time, I feel like I don’t want to get into a routine of sex where we’re always doing the same thing or using the quickest method to “get off”.  Sex and exploring sex is something that I am really passionately enjoy and I’ve just felt like we’ve been a bit lazy recently.  When we planned on doing something like, having a dress up day or a green day, etc, it’s not happened.  We’ve just lazied around and not done it.

I hate summer, but perhaps sunshine and warmth will give us a bit more energy.

Things that annoy me about Fetlife

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1. How anal some of the moderators are. 

Some of them just utterly delight in powertripping all over your face and taking their job WAY too seriously. 

I’ll give you an example – I asked a question which was “describe subspace using only adjectives” in the “Ask a Submissive” forum.  My thread got closed because apparently there was a sticky that covered this.  There wasn’t! The closest sticky I could find was “What makes you submissive?”  What in the actual fuck?  How is that moderation?  So we’re not allowed to discuss any of the topics that are sticked at all, despite the fact that some of the “stickies” are no more than 2-3 lines or don’t go into any detail or are total dogshit?  What the fuck is the point of having groups then? Why not just sticky everything? Why bother having a forum for OPEN DISCUSSION?

2. Kinky & Popular

When’s the last time you saw an attractive male on K&P? When’s the last time you saw something you could even vaguely classify as “kinky” on K&P?  I’m not talking about selfies of naked chicks in front of their bathroom mirrors or a picture of some chick in a corset.  I mean, really? That’s the best the fetish community can come up with?  All that does is prove to me that Fetlife is full of vanilla guys.

3. Cliques

If you don’t worship or pay tribute to some of the more popular people or agree with everything that they say, no matter how fucking retarded, then you instantly get shot down by everyone around you.  It bothers me that people in the fetish community can be so narrow-minded…  I mean, c’mon, learn to think for yourself… at least sometimes form your own opinon?

4. Private Messages

I made a whole post about this once, where, I get submissive guys  messaging me without bothering to first read my profile.  I’m cool with the people who are like “oh hey, nice profile, bla bla bla whatever, just being friendly”.  That’s fine.  It’s the guys that are like “oh hey, im a sub, want to be my domme?”   Well actually, no, you fucknugget, I really really don’t.  My profile clearly states that i’m in a monogamous relationship.  Is it so hard to believe that a domme might be satisfied by having one submissive?

5. The interface/layout

It’s so terrible, outdated and awkward and despite being a supporter and giving them lots of money, it still has the most horrifically arcane interface I’ve ever had the displeasure of encountering. 

Cute Ties

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Cute diagrams of ties – something for the weekend perhaps… 

Orgasm

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Explosive sensation

Aggressive, relentless rush

Gentle, graceful shudder

Meandering warmth

A poem written to describe the amazing orgasm my submissive gave me last night.

Halloween Night

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There he was, lying on the bed for me, naked and pale and lovely.  My hands wandered over his body as he lay there, on his back.  I brought his lips forward to kiss me.  His body trembled with want.  My fingers worked their way down his body to his thighs.  I pulled his legs apart and rubbed his little ass.  He moaned like a whore.  

I sat up so that I had more control over what I wanted to do to him.  I started working his beautiful hard cock, gently sliding it through my hands.  He was so aroused, I whispered down to him “this must be torture for you?”.  He shook his head and said that he enjoyed being mine to use.  I smiled down at him.  I got up and went in search of a toy, finding the appropriate one and a bottle of lube, I sat down on the bed again grinning down at him.  He knew what was coming.  I selected a small rubber plug from his collection, I made him hold the base of his cock so that it would stay hard and slid the lubricated toy inside him gently.  Once inside, I swapped positions with him and had him hold the toy while I played with his cock.  After teasing him for a while, I decided to step things up a bit.  

I turned his wand vibrator on and proceeded to wedge it against the little plug in his ass.  I played with his cock a little more, edging him closer and stopping.  I sat up and removed my panties and pushed his legs together, the vibrator still pressed hard against his plug.  I proceeded to slide him inside me, while I reversed onto him so that I could control the vibrator and plug as well as fuck him.  I think he lasted about 30 seconds inside me in the reverse cowgirl position before he came, hard, really hard.  I sat up and the cum dripped from my pussy all over his belly.  He lay there in shock.  I don’t think he was quite expecting to orgasm so quickly.  I cleaned him up and held him.  After a smoke, we slipped into the abyss of a long, dark sleep.

The Warmth

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I probably had one of the best orgasms of my life last night.  After we did some gaming (we’re currently working our way through Path of Exile again), I asked him to roll up and we had a smoke.  It hit me really really hard, like, I was completely fucked after about 10-20 minutes.  My arms felt really long and the room was wobbling.  I had trouble completing the simplest of tasks, like, shutting down my PC. 

We moved over to the sofa and he said he was going downstairs to put his new gold dress on.  This dress doesn’t look half as fabulous in the photos but here it is… it’s kind of a fake-pvc material, super shiny, super tacky but super fabulous…

While he was downstairs getting ready, it felt like an eternity.  I was totally tripping out.  I was looking around the room and everything started wobbling, the lamp was wobbling, the floor, the ceiling.  I was really chilled out.  I had issues focusing though and the only way to sustain focus seemed to be to blink really fast.  I attempted to regain my control but it seemed to be slipping from my grasp.  I fought the sub-reality with all my strength and finally, he appeared, all glammed up in his shiny new dress and looking fabulous.  He looked like a pretty mermaid.  Because he has tiny hips, the bottom of the dress sat out, giving it a fish-tailed effect.  I asked if he’d like to go downstairs.

Going to the bathroom was hard work.  Our bathroom floor has black and white tiles, like a chess board.  Every time I look down at them, I felt my reality slipping away again.  I  attempted to look up at the walls and blink really fast to get out of the bathroom asap.  I’d made it.  I headed into the bedroom and flopped down onto the bed.  He’d put some psytrance on.  I began kissing him and touching him. 

His cock felt amazing underneath the shiny dress, my hand wanted to smooth it out and rub him.  I brought him to close to orgasm a few times, using the dress as a way to bind his cock.  Sometimes I motioned that he fuck himself using the bind that I’d created, other times I fucked him softly or hard, depending on what I felt like at that time.  I told him that I might make him wait until tomorrow, just because I could.  I could see the disappointment on his face, but he took his news with grace. 

My favorite part of the session included ordering him onto his knees and spanking his pretty bottom.  It looked so amazing in the tight gold dress.  I kept him hard while I spanked him.  It felt good to have that release.  I felt like, he deserved a reward.  I rolled him over onto his back again and lifted his skirt, feeling his cock in the flesh for the first time.  It looked so pink and used and utterly delicious.  I used both hands to bring him to orgasm, one holding the base of his shaft and the other stroking him.  He came hard and he lay there shaking for about 10 minutes.  I felt a warmth spreading over me. 

I lay down and my mind started to wander.  I lay there thinking about all the things I’d like to do to him in that gold dress.  I felt his hands on me.  My body felt so sensitive, too sensitive.  Over stimulated.  I kept getting lost in the monophonic psytrance.  Sometimes I felt too much, other times I went numb.  At one point, I went numb completely from the waist down.  He suggested we go upstairs for a smoke, to clear our heads.  Eventually we did.  I’m not sure why that took so long.  It was hard to get up.  I sat up on the sofa while he had a smoke.  I ate some crisps, I think and we eventually ended up back downstairs again.

This time around, I felt a little more alert, that I might be able to sustain a train of thought long enough to reach orgasm.  I lay back and got lost as he started to rub me.  I fantacisied about having him tied up in his gold dress, about fucking him in the ass in his gold dress, about sharing a vibrator, about just kissing him while we were both dressed up in something pretty.  I then started to think about what I was wearing.  I felt a little inadequate in my worn pink nightie.  He makes so much effort for me and here I am in my ragged night dress probably looking like shit.  It’s much harder for me to get decent sexy clothes though in my size.  I always try and usually fail.  I shouldn’t be thinking about this when he’s playing with me though, insecurities aside, here he is making me feel amazing, relax and enjoy it. 

My mind wandered back to what his hand was doing, he was rubbing me and I was starting to dry up a little.  I started thinking back to what I’d just done to him and how his cock felt in my hand, how his eyes looked when I told him that he wouldn’t be allowed to cum, how my hand felt when I was spanking his little ass.  I was soaking again and his rubbing was in just the right place.  I felt my orgasm building and when it hit, it felt completely unexpected.  It shot up my spine and down my arms and legs, rendering me helpless for just a moment.  I regained control of myself and attempted to control my breathing.  I was still orgasming and continued to orgasm for what felt like ages.  The warmth spread over my body again.

The Friday Night Tease

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When he got in from work last night.  I dressed him in a stunning red lace dress I’d purchased him a couple of months ago (pictured below) coupled with red sandal-heels, black fishnets with a lace red top and a black suspender belt.  

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I told him that I’d hired him as a sexual companion and that now, he’d entertain me.  I laid some blankets out on the floor so that I could watch him. He started off on his back, running his hands up and down his beautiful body.  I love watching his little pale fingers running along the red lace.  He moved down to stroke his thighs and eventually began to play with his cock.  I was perched up on the sofa above him, finding myself getting wetter and wetter, watching this beautiful little person writhe around on the floor for my pleasure.

After a while I told him to get on his knees (resulting in the pictures above).  I gave him the magic wand vibrator to play with and watched him as he almost brought himself to orgasm over and over again.  It’s a sight I’ll remember for a very long time, and the sounds he made as  he was close…

I ordered him onto his back, and then simply sat on his cock while holding him down.  He does love to wriggle.  I rode him upright, I came after a very short period of time of feeling his cock inside me, my orgasm was slow and intense.  When I was finished using him, I returned to the sofa and told him to continue pleasuring himself, on his knees.  It was still delightful to watch, only making me horny again, wanting him again but knowing that, at this stage, my body probably couldn’t take another one of those orgasms.

I moved my hand down and began playing with his cock while he held his vibrator and slowly brought him to orgasm.

After our session, we had a smoke, watched a plethora of Mel Gibson movies (don’t even ask…) and we ended up in bed, pretty late.  I could tell he was exhausted, and quite stoned.  But I was horny again.  He asked me if I wanted him to make me cum.  I felt kinda bad, considering how tired he was and told him that it was ok.  I couldn’t help myself touching his very sensitive body.  Eventually, I ended up touching myself.  He noticed, even in the dark, even when completely exhausted, even when pretty stoned.  I felt his little hand between my legs shortly after.  He began rubbing me and I came pretty fast, still with the image of him on his knees in that beautiful lace red dress.  

What an amazing evening.  I feel so lucky, every day.

Sensual weekend session

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Hazy weekend.  Probably smoked too much.  It helped with the inevitable frustration that I feel after having gone an entire week without orgasming and the pain and the PMS-rage.  Stupid period.  As well as managing to complete the entire of Dragon Age 2 in one weekend, we also had some fun.

I picked something out for him to wear and gave it to him, telling him to change upstairs.  I went with a cute red dress, black suspender belt, stockings and black heeled boots.  He also wore his chastity device. I sat him down on a cushioned, wooden chair.  I bound his hands behind his back to the chair with PVC tape and bound his ankles to either side of the chair so his legs were spread apart.  I tied his chest and neck to the chair with some rope, meaning if he leant forward or attempted to get free, the rope around his neck would prevent him.  I warned him to remain calm and still or he may hurt himself through mild choking. 

I then blindfolded him and let him sit there for a few minutes.  When his blindfold was removed, he found a vibrator strapped between his legs and some sensual lesbian porn on the screen in front of him.  I told him to watch the screen.  I sat behind him for a while, kissing his neck, cheeks, shoulders, touching his body, feeling it tingle and shudder at the prospect of the vibrator.  After a while, I turned the vibrator on.  It was about an inch away from his cock.  I left it on, so that he could feel the vibrations of the air around him, knowing it was there, but not actually being able to feel it.  

After a while, I noticed him starting to shift around, wanting to be touched.  I moved the vibrator closer so that it was in direct contact with his chastity device.  He moaned immediately and attempted to keep his body still while he was enjoying the pleasure of being touched.  I reminded him that he needed to keep watching the screen.  At this stage, the lesbians were licking each other and I could see that he was very close to cumming.  He was leaking everywhere.  I told him to remove the chastity device and he did so, I allowed him one hand to do this and immediately tied it back up again once the device was removed.

I turned the vibrator off and sat behind him again, holding him by his neck, forcing his head in the direction of the porn.  I nibbled on his ear, kissed his neck again, licked his lips, whispered in his ear.  I reached down with my hand and started toying with his cock while I had my other arm around his neck.  I stroked him slowly, but powerfully.  I used the vibrator a few more times to tease him, putting it up against my hand so that he could feel the vibrations as I stroked him and eventually, brought him to orgasm.

I untied him and held him for a bit, stroking his beautiful long hair.  

BDSM and Abuse

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scarlettrouillard:

This is really important to me.  I just got out of an abusive relationship, and I hope that no one ever has to feel like I did.