I’ve been feeling a bit emotionally fragile the past few days. I’m not really sure why. I’ve been getting enough early nights, having enough rest and chill time and eating ok. Work has been good. I’ve been having nice evenings of games, tv and cuddles.
We went to see DevilDriver on Monday night. I actually preferred their support band – Sylosis, who were fucking awesome. It was an ok gig, we didn’t get to stand as close as I’d have liked but there were too many crazies to stand any closer. After that we went back to the hotel and passed out almost immediately. Hangover came swiftly the next day and we spent most of the day zombified.
We made love on Tuesday evening. At that stage, it had been almost 4 days since my last orgasm. I was pretty tense, pent up and almost an emotional wreck. We hadn’t purposley planned on not playing for that long – I think he just had a few days where he was more tired than normal. We had lots of slow, touching, kissing, licking, nibbling, cuddling foreplay, followed by me climbing on top of him and fucking him very slowly until we both came. It was deeply satisfying. We cuddled afterwards, our naked bodies pressed close for warmth.
We had another play session on Wednesday evening, an intensely passionate affair of rubbing and touching. I used a tenga egg on him, he seemed to enjoy it, even though it popped off during the end when he was orgasm, I tried my best to compensate with my hand. I think I succeeded for the most part.
Last night, we played games and watched some tv. I don’t mind the days where we don’t have sex. But sometimes it’s hard for me not to touch him, or strip him or pin him down and use him. I feel like those things would be a breach of what we have – which is trust and respect. I try my best to behave, but sometimes when he’s sitting there, lost in his own little world of spreadsheets and tea, I want to grab him and make him mine again.
I feel like we haven’t done anything terribly kinky in a while. That’s partly due to it being winter and I don’t enjoy putting him in discomfort by making him stark naked on a freezing cold night and partly because it seems like he hasn’t really been all that interested lately in being tied up or pegged (i fucking hate that word) or dressed up, etc. It might be lack of energy, but either way, I don’t like to push when it feels like I’m being unfair. I understand that people aren’t always in the mood or don’t have the energy„ etc. At the same time, I feel like I don’t want to get into a routine of sex where we’re always doing the same thing or using the quickest method to “get off”. Sex and exploring sex is something that I am really passionately enjoy and I’ve just felt like we’ve been a bit lazy recently. When we planned on doing something like, having a dress up day or a green day, etc, it’s not happened. We’ve just lazied around and not done it.
I hate summer, but perhaps sunshine and warmth will give us a bit more energy.
Last night was a tantalising mix of orgasm denial and forced orgasm. The evening started with a slow, lazy relaxing shared bath. I had it ready for him coming in from work. We sat there and soaked, had a smoke and drank some tea. After that I prepared a strange dinner of crepes, bacon and vanilla icecream – it was Pancake Tuesday so that had to be honoured. Afterward we cuddled up on the couch and watched and spent the evening watching Better Off Ted (season 1, which I’d totally recommend) and having a smoke. We ambled down to bed at around midnight and cuddled / chatted for a bit.
My hands started wandering, as they always do when I have a lovely naked man in my bed. I began stroking him ever so slowly and softly. I told him that I wanted to use him tonight and that I wouldn’t be letting him cum for a few days. He grew harder at the prospect and lay there moaning as I brought him up to orgasm over and over again, stopping just before he couldn’t handle anymore. I decided to have one myself so I fucked him for a little bit until I came.
Afterward I held him for another while and began teasing him again, bringing him close to orgasm then stopping. He came so very close, so many times, while i used so many different techniques. One of my favourite techniques to use is getting him so horny that merely rubbing his cock with one hand, without gripping, is enough to almost send him over the edge. Without warning, I sped up and he exploded in my hand. He’d had a rough day, I wasn’t going to let him go to sleep without a nice orgasm.. He is my little pet afterall.
So, let me tell you a little bit about Valentine’s Day. I haven’t written anything in ages – sometimes I just don’t get the urge to write and I figure it’s best waiting until I am in the right mood for it.
I left work a little earlier than usual and got a lift up to the city with two of my work colleagues, we picked my pet up along the way. We sat in the back holding hands as we grew closer to our destination. We got dropped off pretty close to the hotel and ambled over, checked in and headed up to the hotel room. At first, the keycard wouldn’t work on the door so he had to go downstairs and get another. We were up on the 11th floor. When we finally got into the room, we were first taken aback by how absolutely massive it was! Huge comfy bed, big flatscreen tv, bath and shower, really fancy decor and very fabulous. As you can imagine, the view over the city from the 11th floor was breathtaking.
We decided on getting a room service dinner and ordered one. While we were waiting, I went and had a really relaxing bath. The food took a while to arrive, and when it did it wasn’t exactly what I ordered and wasn’t the hottest, but it was tasty enough. We gobbled it down and watched a bit of TV while we were waiting on foods to go down. He had a shower and we got dressed up, went downstairs for a smoke and then into the cocktail bar for a drink. We had the most fabulous strawberry daqcuris, made with fresh strawberries and loads of crushed ice. It was like an orgasm in my mouth. We sat there chatting for an hour or so as we drank and it was just so nice to be out with me and him. We were a bit worried that he might get turned away from the fancy cocktail bar for wearing jeans but it turned out, a load of other people were there in jeans so it was grand. After drinks and smoke, we headed back up to the room.
My big surprise was pending and I got really excited. I went into the bathroom to change into the little outfit that I’d bought. It was a red and black satin chemise with a lace top. It looked pretty nice on. He went into the bathroom to change too and came out in the most gorgeous little pink dress with a frilly corset/petticoat and white stockings. He’d brought heels up too but the carpet was too thick to wear them. I couldn’t stop staring at him, he’d went to all this effort just for me and he looked like divine. I sat there for a while just taking in the little character that he’d created for me. This sweet, innocent, naughty little pet who wanted to be played with, who wanted to be tied up and teased and fucked. That wasn’t the end of the surprises though, he produced a brand new strapon for me with a much bigger jelly dildo than my previous one (which also came with a spare dildo) and also a set of vibrating nipple suction cups. I felt my body tingle and butterflies in my stomach. What did I do to deserve this perfect creature?
I lay down beside him and we kissed, my hands wandered over his body exploring every part of his new costume and the perfect little body underneath. He’d not been allowed to orgasm for two whole days. Two days that I’d spent teasing him and edging him and now here he was, once again, at my mercy. He had his chastity device on underneath his outfit still, he’d worn it for most of the day. I told him to go and take it off, and he did so. He came back with a grin on his face and lay down on the bed beside me again. I put him onto his knees so that I could take in the full view of his layers of frilly petticoat coupled with his perfect little ass. He was obedient, bending to every position I put him in. I slid my body underneath him and licked and sucked him for a little while. I could feel how heavy and achey he was, he’d been so well behaved and continued to be. He didn’t once complain or beg for release, he just lay there and took the teasing, the attention, my hands on him, my mouth on him. I tied him to one of the chairs. I licked and sucked him for a little bit and then positioned the chair beside the bed. I took the spare dildo, a big pink floppy jelly one, and fucked myself with it as he watched. I enjoyed the sensation of his eyes on me and his swollen cock leaked onto his leg. I had him gagged too so he was drooling on himself, it ran down his chin and all over his pretty dress. That just made me wetter, I could feel myself getting close to orgasm, so I stopped, knowing it would be harder to stop the closer I got.
I untied him and put him on the bed face down and bent over. I equipped my new strapon and lubed it up and slowly began fucking his ass. He squirmed around a lot, it was difficult to start – being quite significantly bigger than what he was used to, but we made a little bit of progress with it and we both enjoyed the experience.
I rolled him over onto his front and mounted him and began fucking him as slowly as I could manage. He squirmed and moaned like a pretty little whore and came very fast. I smiled down at him, knowing how hard it must have been for him to even hold out that long.
After that, I held him for a bit and he played with me. It didn’t take him long bringing me to orgasm and delicious it was. The rest of the evening was a hazy blur.
We were awoken at around 5am by a really loud banging. It kinda sounded like someone was banging on a metal tray with a hammer, right outside our bedroom door. We peered out into the corridor and it was completely empty. We took a while trying to figure out where the incessant banging was coming from. We called downstairs to reception but no one answered, and he ended up getting dressed and going down. It was literally so loud, that we couldn’t sleep. He came up 5-10 minutes later with another room card, telling me that they’d given us a new room to sleep in for the rest of the night – that it was a door on the roof banging in the wind and they couldn’t go up there to fix it because it was too dangerous. We got put into an even bigger room with a fancy bathroom, and also – it was a smoking room!! Bonus! We had a smoke and then went to sleep again.
When we woke up, we packed our stuff up between the two rooms and went downstairs to reception to pay. I had a bit of a complain at the lady who was going to take our money and she went and got the manager. The manager apologised profusely and told us that he wouldn’t be charing us for anything. That’s right, we got the entire evening for FREE!!!! The room service, dinner, cocktails, two bedrooms, the works! All free!
We left the hotel after an amazing evening with huge grins. We went and had breakfast in a nice cafe, did a little bit of shopping and came home. My first thought upon entering our home was “sure is nice to be back in the castle”. Of course it’s lovely to go and stay places and hang out somewhere different for a bit, but there’s no place I’d rather be than at home, in our “castle” (that’s what we call it) with my lovely partner and my silly old black one-eared cat.
Image #1 http://vyrhelle-vyrl.deviantart.com/
Image #2 http://anndr.deviantart.com/
A few have you have sent in some questions over the past couple of months that I finally got around to asking my sub. Here they are together with his answers.
1. What first attracted you to femdom?
I found a book discarded by a bus stop when I was younger. Being quite the bookworm, I read it on the bus, and I guess the seeds of alternative lifestyles comes from there. That was my first experience with a lot of things, and I think is probably the root of some of my fetishes. The book was penny in harness by penny birch. The cover attracted me because of the latex, and I enjoyed the book. I’m not really into dressing like a horse, but I guess we all refine our tastes over time!
2. What kind of d/s experience do you have prior to your current relationship?
It just kind of creeps up on you I guess. As I get older I learn more about how I feel about stuff and what I like to do so it’s constantly evolving. I had a few experiences with older, more dominant women than I was used to, and enjoyed it a lot more than the girls around my age I dated when I was a teenager. I thought it was a maturity thing, but looking back I probably enjoyed it more due to the dynamic.
Confident, strong women are much more attractive for me. I guess I have always got a kick out of my partner being in charge, it just sits naturally with me. I had a few relationships when I was younger where, as the male I was expected to be the dominant half and there are a lot of situations I can recall where I was just uncomfortable or unsure or just thinking ‘this should be the other way around’. I still made a few wrong turns on that front, but it lead me to where I am today, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. Meeting my partner changed my life for the better in more ways than I could recap here.
3. What’s your favourite kind of play?
Fave play I flutter through different moods a lot, so it varies a lot. Generally though I’d say my favourite type of play is sensual, involving lots of teasing and intimacy. I like dressing up , it makes me feel more confident and attractive, and I like to feel involved. A middle ground between being someone’s toy and being a test subject.
- We are people too, and all the vanilla courtesies still apply. For you as well as me.
- Don’t fawn all over us; you will sound like a tool. Don’t call us “Mistress“, “Goddess” or “Lady” unless we tell you to. Don’t try to act like our sub without our…
God this is so true.
Feels like I haven’t done an update in forever. I’d like to make this post a mixture of a catchup and a visual feast of the most beautiful black and white abstract art that I can find.
We had a guest staying over at the weekend. We did lots of fun things inclusive of museums, pubs and games. Sexual activity was limited to the bedroom for the weekend. We still had fun though, inclusive of many delicious orgasms.
On Saturday night we got really really drunk. I mean, really drunk. It wasn’t bad sickly drunk though, it was pretty nice, chilled, happy drunk. I ambled down to the bedroom with the intent of going to sleep. My partner and our housemate stayed upstairs chatting and listening to music. I lay there and the room was spinning, so I was alternating between keeping my eyes open and closed. After about half an hour, my pet joined me in bed. He was cold. I pulled his little naked body close to warm him up.
His skin was like satin. He made some lovely little noises as I was cuddling him. My hand strayed down further to touch him gently between the legs. He was aroused. I played with him, I licked him, I sucked him and I fucked him. Alcohol has a profound effect on him – turns him into the naughtiest little whore. He wanted to be used, so that’s exactly what I did. I got myself off on him, a number of times, before finally letting him release – I did make him use a vibrator, I was delighted with how easy it made him cum. Think we got to sleep at about 6am or thereabouts.
Sunday was a break day. We literally sat around and did nothing all day. It was bliss. I feel like my body has slown down a lot in the past two years – alcohol doesn’t seem to be something I can do on a regular basis anymore. A few years ago, I could have drunk a lot more and been less hungover.
On Monday evening, I told him that I’d be locking him in chastity tomorrow. That I’d be teasing him this evening for as long as he could take and locking him up so that he has to suffer all day at work. After a while of teasing, he looked a little panicked, like, he really needed release. I let him cum. He almost passed out afterwards, not before making me cum first though.
My memory is a little fuzzy this morning. I’ve not had many early nights in the past week so I’m feeling a little bit out of sync. I’m also on a diet at the moment, which is hard because I hate eating diet food and I’m feeling constantly hungry and a little bit on edge. I think we had Tuesday off, or, at least – I can’t remember doing anything on Tuesday except lots of cuddling and watching The Bridge (tv series – which is awesome btw).
On Wednesday, I spent over an hour teasing him with my tongue. I remember thinking how good he tasted. I was so aroused from having him in my mouth. I’d to go to the bathroom afterwards and change my panties. Thursday, I dressed him up – short leather dress – and played with some oil. I didn’t hold him too long, he’d taken quite a lot of teasing this week and I wanted to give him a really nice orgasm. I think I did. He writhed around for quite a while. It was late, after 2am, so I told him we should go to sleep.
He promised to make it up to me tomorrow. But, I wasn’t unhappy or overly frustrated. I was in a good mood and contented that he had enjoyable time. I know he gets worried about the balance of orgasms, but I think one thing that he fails to grasp is that, I don’t need to orgasm every time any more. I just need to get into that state of mind where he’s at my mercy. Of course, I love to orgasm. I’ll have some evenings where I can think about nothing else other than having a nice long orgasm… But sometimes, I’ll have evenings where, I just want to saturate him with attention. Even now, after a year of living together, it still feels a little unfamiliar to him. He’s always so eager to please and always looks a bit deflated when I tell him that I don’t want to cum that evening. I guess, I’d be wondering why he didn’t seem that bothered when I said I don’t want to cum. Women eh? There’s no pleasing em.
So, last night, we played some games, had a smoke, watched the last episode of The Bridge. I was nice and chilled, relaxed, lying on the couch with him next to me. Earlier that day he told me that he would like to give me a massage that evening. So he did. There was some debate prior to that, I was rubbing him, teasing him, kissing him and he was getting rather aroused. He had a determination in his eyes though, which was altogether quite cute. He wanted to play with me, to give me a good time.
He went into graphic detail about a standard day and the things I do for him, I sat there, choking back tears, remembering my last relationships and how the people there said that I was lazy and “never did anything around the house” (because some days, I’d be too tired to make dinner or the house wasn’t tidy/clean all of the time – i’m pretty messy). But he sat there, talking about stuff like – making his lunch, buying him treats, making him tea, and well, other little things that won’t make much sense to you, my readers. I felt really really touched though that he’d noticed all these tiny little inconsequential things and also that, because I don’t really sit and think about things like that – they just kind of happen – I never really treated them as a big deal before. I want the best for him. Sometimes I worry that, I don’t really make enough money to be able to buy him all the things that he wants. I’m always pretty skint at the end of the month, with not really much left over – because I don’t earn that much. Money isn’t important to me at all, but I want him to have a cosy, comfortable life.
Now I’m rambling. Let’s rewind a bit. I sat there, soaking up all this information. He wanted to have an evening where I was made to feel special. I feel special every waking moment of my day, knowing that I have such an amazing partner. He turned the heating on and I undressed, lying face down on the sofa. I felt his little hands gently massaging my back. It was relaxing, albeit, short. I turned around and we kissed for a little bit. ”Do you want me to lick you?” he said. I got butterflies in my stomach as I felt his tongue brushing against my clit… gently at first and getting faster.
After quite a while of blissful tongue pleasure, he inserted a finger or two (it’s hard to tell when you’re in that state). I lay back and thought about the week we’d had together and the things I’d done to him, the way he moved his body and the noises he made. The build-up was amazing. I was close to orgasm so many times. He was gentle though, like he held me on edge with ease, not slowing down to the point where I stopped receiving stimulation, but enough of a change of pace to let me enjoy that feeling of bliss. When I came, it hit me really really hard. I could hardly breathe, I felt like I’d lost control of my body for a few minutes. I could feel every single blood vessel in my body. What a massive release. I couldn’t have asked for a better evening, nor a better end to the evening. We played a bit of pokemon and went to bed… a little later than I would have liked, but it’s hard to drag him away from his spreadsheets when he’s enjoying them so much.
This morning, I’m sitting here smiling, thinking about last night. I hope he is too. I’d really like to make love to him tonight. Slowly and passionately. In a nice setting… perhaps by the fire or in a candlelit room, with some nice music on. We haven’t got anything planned for the weekend, so I’m looking forward to lots of gaming, cuddling and time spent together.
My poor little pet hasn’t been so well the last couple of days. He’s got some kind of chesty throat thing. I’ve been taking care of him as best I can, but I always feel kind of helpless when he’s ill.
Last night we watched a few movies together, had a smoke and ambled downstairs. I was expecting another early night, in order to help get him over his infection, but he arrived into the room in the new leather dress I’d bought for him. I was horny instantly.
He was crouching on the bed attempting to fix spotify on his Nexus so that we could listen to music. This gave me full access to the glory that is his cute little ass. It was exposed under the short leather dress, perfectly rounded and delicious. It looked good enough to eat. I rubbed it a little, the sensitive parts, to gauge his reaction. He moaned a little bit, I was distracting him from completing his task. I pulled on his cock gently with the other hand and proceeded to rub his ass. He was already hard and struggling to remain focused on the device in his hands.
The music started and he signed with relief as he could now fully enjoy the pleasure being given to him. His body looked amazing in the tight leather dress, I enjoyed the feeling of running my fingers over it. I left him temporarily and told him to get comfortable. I’d acquired a vibrating prostate stimulator and a bottle of lube. I toyed with his ass a little bit before inserting the toy. It slid in easily, he wanted to be filled up and used. I fucked him gently with it at first, very gently, used it to bring him into that lovely euphoric state I like to keep him in for so many of our sessions together.
After a while of teasing, I switched the vibrator on. I began fucking him as I used his cock with my other hand. The feel of the leather against my wrist, the way his ass looked and the noises he was making indicated that he would soon cum. He asked for permission to cum pretty quickly and thanked me when I granted it. He came hard, very hard, a lot of cum and slumped on the bed. He was exhausted. I cleaned the bed up and got back in.
We chatted for a while after that. Both being quite stoned, about a wide variety of unrelated topics. I love talking with him. A lot of his views are very similar to my own and he’s intelligent. That’s one of the sexiest things about him. His big, beautiful brain.
I was soaking from before, when I felt his little hand edging it’s way downward, I smiled and rolled over onto my back and removed my panties. I was expecting a short playtime, mainly because, he’s still quite sick and he was probably tired after his own, but I was mistaken. He toyed with me for quite a long time, and I really enjoyed it. A lot of the time, I can’t handle being teased much, particularly after not orgasming for several days, but whatever it was he was doing, I wanted more of it. I was enjoying the long, slow build up.
I love watching him when he’s playing with me, I can see him concentrating on his task but also getting aroused, which arouses me even more. I love the way he makes me feel. When I did cum, it almost made me pass out…. It was the most intense orgasm I’ve had so far, in my whole life, to date. I say “to date” because he’s only ever gotten better over the past year. It never feels the same, he’s always trying new things and touching me in different ways… it was absolute heaven though. I lay there unmoving for a good 10 minutes, or what felt like an eternity. I felt truly and utterly spent, satisfied and elated.
I am your Domme and I take my job very, very seriously. I spend a lot of time getting to know who you are, what you’ve gone through in your life, what your submission looks like… and, what it doesn’t. I need to know not just what all your boundaries are, but why you have them. I want to poke around in all the dark corners of your brain, and see what you have hiding back there, behind all of the cobwebs. I want to look at all of your carefully constructed walls and then take them apart, piece by agonizing piece. I want raw, brutal, unfiltered honesty. I want to see the you that you don’t show the rest of the world. I want to push your limits and show you that you are much more than you think you are… that you are capable of more, that you can give me more.
When we are “playing”, I am not catering to an audience. I don’t see, hear, smell or taste anyone but you, in those moments. Sometimes, I will take more than you were willing to give. Sometimes, there will be demands made of you that you don’t think you’re capable of meeting. I want to leave you shaken, torn, emptied… and then slowly put the pieces back. Not where you had them, but where I want them to be, because they are my pieces, now. I want you to be satisfied with your experiences. I want you to glow inside, knowing that you are mine and mine alone.
There is an overwhelmingly violent attraction to your vulnerability. It makes me lick my teeth and eye you like my last meal. It makes me want to both devour you and nurture you. It’s a terrible duplicity that leaves me vulnerable, too.
Intimacy colours everything. I am completely and utterly in love with you and while sometimes, it’s terrifying, it’s completely worth it. I can barely remember what my life was like before I met you. What I was like. I feel like me now.
I very much enjoy the softer, more sensual play lately, as I’ve gotten to know you over the past year. It’s something I like to dabble in more and more frequently. Using and teasing your body, moulding and shaping you into what I want. It’s almost an art form. I think there is merit in it… in playing to someone’s sexuality, in surprising them with moments of intense pain instead of overwhelming them with it… in handfuls of hair and dark whispers. I enjoy nothing more than watching you writhe and squirm and moan. I love knowing that I’m responsible for your extacy, your loss of control.
I smile and add it to the list of things I enjoy doing with you. It’s a surprising revelation to me. I am not soft and gentle. I’ve never been described as that. I’ve been described as intimidating, but never gentle. We’ve grown together, you and I.