Weekend Catchup – The horrors of PMS

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This weekend was spent mostly suffering the symptoms of PMS.  Everything to erratic mood swings to swollen, painful breasts.  Urgh.  It was horrific.  At one stage, I was so angry that I wanted to smash everything in the house.  

Hulk-rage, full swing, although I tried my best to control the hormones, heading downstairs when I felt like it was becoming difficult to contain.  I lay there for a while, alone in the darkness.  My mind was swimming with dark thoughts, rage and despair.  I haven’t felt quite so out of control in ages.  

I turned over.  There he was beside me.  He’d creeped in, lay down beside me and asked if I wanted to cuddle.  I lay there for ages just holding him.  He wanted to help and wanted to know how.  I didn’t have an answer for him.  He suggested going upstairs and having a smoke, that it might chill me out a little.  He was right.  We did and it did.  

I felt like myself again, like I’d gained some element of control back.  He spent the rest of the weekend looking after me.   Ordered food on Sunday night, bought me ice-cream, gave me massages, cuddles, kisses and just chilling out with me and being with me.

This is so nice for me.  I used to have to cry to get my ex-boyfriend’s attention.  Now all I have to do is be myself and he knows me well enough to know what I’m thinking and feeling.

I love talking to him.  About everything.  We have such interesting conversations – some deep and meaningful, others silly and surreal.  I like that he’s intelligent and open-minded enough to see my (often crazy) alternative viewpoints on different topics.  He loves to ramble, and I love to listen to him.  

The PMS continues to rage and still no sign of my fucking period.  I need to get my period so that I can go back on my pill and we can start having sex again.  Obviously, we’ve been doing other stuff but, sometimes I just want to hold him down and fuck him.