Best Advice I’ve read for a long while

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This is really great advice. Thank you. As a 26 year old female, it’s hard to see everyone you know getting married but not feeling like you’re quite there yet. I plan on waiting til I’m a bit older, and I try to do some of these things daily but it’s nice to see it written out so well and be reminded what’s important for your relationship AND yourself as an individual.


My 20’s were full of (other peoples’) weddings. My 30’s are full of (other peoples’) divorces. I only know a couple couples who are still together. Almost literally all the marriages I witnessed are over now. When I was 26 I too felt left out, or left behind, and nervous that I needed to find someone and get married. My ex-boyfriend was about to propose 5 years ago but he decided to cheat instead. Bullet dodged. My SO is in the middle of a nasty divorce. All of my girlfriends who married are divorced. I’m 36— and it’s crazy out there.


I am 28 and for a long time I felt so alone. I am in a five year long relationship with someone I’m still not sure about marrying. I’m not sure because all of the people I was jealous of, because they found someone they wanted to take that big step with, are now in the middle of nasty divorces or custody battles. I’m not even 30 yet and I currently know more people who are divorced, will be divorced soon, or are staying with someone that they are extremely unhappy with their SO but won’t leave for whatever reason than I know that are happily married. I’m constantly asking myself if I want to put myself in that situation when I can easily just walk out the door right now and never have to speak to him again if I felt like it.


You’re welcome. I was far too young and inexperienced to know what is needed for a relationship to last 40+ years. Well, we both were. Getting married, having kids and moving to the burbs shouldn’t be your life’s dream. What will you do when your kids are all grown and out of the house?

Work on yourself, a lot. Do things you want to do. Gain experience and yes, you can have kids and move to the burbs if you want. But don’t stop doing what you love to do because when you’re older and your kids have moved out you need something to do. It may as well be what you’ve always loved to do.



How I got my SO to sleep with me : sex

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If you’re in a dead bedroom relationship, read this.

How I got my SO to sleep with me : sex

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A tribute to my perfect partner.

When to NOT double-barrel your name!

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When to NOT double-barrel your name!

Don’t settle for Mediocre

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We’ve all been in a relationship where, we were just there for the sake of it… too lazy to break-up and deal with the aftermath… then there’s always the hassle of finding another partner.  Hassle.  It’s hassle.  It takes time, energy, money.  I’ve been in relationships where I just stayed because, well, I wasn’t really really unhappy, but I wasn’t happy either.  I just existed there, in that time, in that space.  After a while though, just existing wasn’t enough.  So I came across an article today which spoke truths:-

In order to fully understand the truth behind this situation, you have to remember that all relationships are not created equal. There is a difference between true love and dysfunctional relationships. It is very easy to attract a dysfunctional relationship, the lowest hanging fruit. Those who have not done any inner work will tend to gravitate toward anyone who comes along where they feel a little chemistry. That is why your drama-queen friends always have a man. There is plenty of dysfunction to go around and most people settle for mediocre.

Look at your friends and family. How many of them have the ideal relationship you desire? If you review your romantic history, don’t you feel that most of your past lovers were less than wonderful? Even the ones you felt heartbroken over, you probably look back now and wonder what the heck you saw in that person. You know you can have a relationship, but you don’t just want to settle. You want an extraordinary true love.

The average person settles for mediocre. They don’t learn about life or try to improve themselves. They look for the easy way, the quick fix, and the path of least resistance. Inside of everyone is a yearning for more, but it is often pushed down with blaming others, the economy, their industry and their partners for their lack of satisfaction. They are the same people who think you are the one who is crazy for doing all that self-help, touchy –feely stuff. They never want to get into deep conversations and stick to small talk and gossip.

Because you are reading this I know you are not average…far from it. Instead of suppressing that inner yearning for more, you embrace it. You decide that you are the one who can make a difference and design a life that is more fulfilling. You may tend to be hard on yourself because you want the best in your life. Don’t let this inner drive tear you down and make your wrong for not having what everyone else appears to have.

If you look closely, what most people have is not what you want. Just finding a partner or having wealth doesn’t translate into happiness. Settling for mediocre only reinforces to the person that this is all they deserve. At some level they do know they are settling but won’t admit it or are in deep denial. Don’t make comparisons to others because external appearances can be deceitful.

Article written by
Debi  Berndt

Debi Berndt

I don’t believe in all the bullshit therapy that she offers, but she did write a pretty sweet article.  I shared the article because it rings true for so many people.  There is more than that though.  There is more to life.  There is more to love.  True love and happiness does exist.  You can wake up in the morning and think “fuck yeah, I really love my life and I’m really happy”.  Most of what’s holding you back from meeting that person is you and all the obstacles you put in the way. 

Here’s another awesome article written by Roque Caston, a gay man, on the same topic:

In the interest of balance, another interesting article, this time looking at the topic from the opposite side of the coin, Robert E Goodin suggesting that settling for medicore can be turned into a good thing:

The 6 Best AND WORST Ways to Have Sex

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Made me giggle.

The 6 Best AND WORST Ways to Have Sex

Anniversary approaching.

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He should write a book on women.  I’ve been with more than my fair share of men.  Looking back, they were all pretty terrible with women, well, in comparison to this guy.  He knows when to back down, he knows when to hold me, he knows when to give me space, he knows what to do and when. He knows his way around my body, all it’s little intricacies.  What to give me and when.  It’s so refreshing.  

It’ll be our one year anniversary next week.  I want to do something special for him, maybe go for a nice meal somewhere, something…. dare I say it.. romantic. I’ve become so massively squishy and romantic since being with this guy.  I was never like that before, neither had the want or need.  Open to any romantic evening ideas – drop me a PM or leave me a comment.