submission

To my pet

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My constant and continuous struggle to control my overwhelming desire for you.  

Image by Sykell

My Submissive – Q&A

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A few have you have sent in some questions over the past couple of months that I finally got around to asking my sub.  Here they are  together with his answers.

1. What first attracted you to femdom?

I found a book discarded by a bus stop when I was younger. Being quite the bookworm, I read it on the bus, and I guess the seeds of alternative lifestyles comes from there. That was my first experience with a lot of things, and I think is probably the root of some of my fetishes. The book was penny in harness by penny birch. The cover attracted me because of the latex, and I enjoyed the book. I’m not really into dressing like a horse, but I guess we all refine our tastes over time!

2. What kind of d/s experience do you have prior to your current relationship?

It just kind of creeps up on you I guess. As I get older I learn more about how I feel about stuff and what I like to do so it’s constantly evolving. I had a few experiences with older, more dominant women than I was used to, and enjoyed it a lot more than the girls around my age I dated when I was a teenager. I thought it was a maturity thing, but looking back I probably enjoyed it more due to the dynamic.

Confident, strong women are much more attractive for me. I guess I have always got a kick out of my partner being in charge, it just sits naturally with me. I had a few relationships when I was younger where, as the male I was expected to be the dominant half and there are a lot of situations I can recall where I was just uncomfortable or unsure or just thinking ‘this should be the other way around’. I still made a few wrong turns on that front, but it lead me to where I am today, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. Meeting my partner changed my life for the better in more ways than I could recap here.

3. What’s your favourite kind of play?

Fave play I flutter through different moods a lot, so it varies a lot. Generally though I’d say my favourite type of play is sensual, involving lots of teasing and intimacy. I like dressing up , it makes me feel more confident and attractive, and I like to feel involved. A middle ground between being someone’s toy and being a test subject.

4. What’s your favourite outfit?
I have two. One is my maid costume.. black pvc with wet-look stockings and opera gloves, with matching frilly fingerless gloves and hair tie. This will always be special for me because it was the first full outfit I put together for myself that I was fully happy with. The other is a red dress my partner got me. I think this just reminds me of how well she knows me. It’s so perfectly something that I love that it just blows me away. I have so many lovely clothes from her it’s honestly hard to pick a favourite! Other top ones would be the shimmery short dresses she got me, a gold dress that was super cheap and fabulous, and all my shoes . I love heels. A lot.
5. What are you like outside of your relationship, with other people – what kind of person are you?
A hard question to answer hehe. I like to think that I am a nice, easy going, easy to get along with, intelligent and occasionally witty. However, I also know im chronically lazy, prone to outbursts of long and wittery prose and/ or rambling speeches, and I find it terribly hard to pretend to take an interest in people’s children. I’m not rude, I just find it difficult to engage with people over stuff I have zero interest in. I’m also very good at putting things off! Whilst my bank balance probably appreciates it, given how many clothes sit in my eBay folder on my computer, the sometimes overflowing bin in our house rumbles with discontent. I also love cuddles, pokemon, computer games, books, films, scifi and music. I have such an eclectic taste in stuff.
I can listen to jazz and death metal in the same evening. I also do have a hefty streak of obsessive behavior. When I’m interested in stuff, I can really get into it. For recent examples, see my pokemon breeding spreadsheet, or my 12 weeks of sneaky research to give my partner a lovely valentines day! I guess in the bedroom I vary wildly from being hyper slutty to delicate and unsure of myself. No idea why, but I guess I just like to go with how I’m feeling.
6. What tips would you give to a submissive man wanting to find a dominant woman?  What pitfalls would you avoid?
Go out and do things you like. Go to meetups and keep your expectations realistic. You wouldn’t expect a woman you met in a bar to fall in love with you because you bought her a cocktail, it’s not different just because she’s wielding a cane. You’ll be more likely to meet someone you get on with if you’re doing stuff you like. If I met a woman at a Tory conference, we’re not gonna be compatible just because I thaught she looked good in a suit.
Pitfalls: Don’t lie or exaggerate yourself for an internet profile. People will see through you the second you meet them. Don’t go looking for just a domme.. People are complicated and everyone is different. No use hooking up with someone you find attractive only to realise that you don’t have anything
7. Can you picture yourself in a non-d/s relationship?
Probably not. It’s been my experience that aspects of the ds relationship fit so well with my personality that I’d end up being unhappy and missing those things. Not just sexually, but I couldn’t have a relationship with someone who didn’t understand my submissive side.
8. What’s your favourite toy?
I’d say that the magic wand is my favourite, just because of its versatility. Its fun whether I’m feeling slutty or delicate.
If you have any more questions for me or him, ask them here.

33 Things Every Submissive Man Should Know

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omisspearl:

  1. We are people too, and all the vanilla courtesies still apply. For you as well as me.
  2. Don’t fawn all over us; you will sound like a tool. Don’t call us “Mistress“, “Goddess” or “Lady” unless we tell you to. Don’t try to act like our sub without our…

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God this is so true.

A Typical Tuesday Evening

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Last night was incredible.  I got home from work in a pretty stinking mood.  My wrist, which I sprained following spouts of sexual activity, hurt like fuck.  We sat down, had dinner, had a smoke and watched the most incredible film called “The Libertine”.  Definitely rocketed straight into number#1 on my list of “most amazing films”.  

It was like one big, awesome poem set in a period setting, and best part of which, it was based on a true story about the Earl of Rochester.  An interesting chap whose thinking, poetry and incredible speeches, although I disagree with a lot of them, were far beyond his generation’s thinking.  Anyhow, go watch the film, right now if you haven’t seen it.  We watched another film after that, while it was good, I was pretty stoned by that point and found it difficult concentrating. 

At about 11:15pm, we slinked our way downstairs.  There he was, in all his beautiful silky glory, adorned in a pale blue nightgown, staring back at me with his big wanton eyes.  I felt such overwhelming lust for him.  My heart was beating fast, my breathing heavy, I wanted to devour him.  Instead, I told him to “lift your skirt and show me what’s mine”.  He obeyed unquestioning.  Staring at me as his skirt slid up his pale thighs, exposing his cock which was rock hard and begging to be touched.  I rubbed him for a while, his thighs, his cock, his cute little ass.  He moaned and squirmed, absorbing the attention.  

I told him to pull down his skirt and close his legs, that it was no way for a lady to behave.  I scratched him, I pulled on his nipples, I choked him a little and slapped his little asshole.  He blushed and looked up at me, a cute shameful look on his gorgeous face.  I told him to pull his skirt up again and he obeyed.   I lubricated my hand and began rubbing him again from his ass to the tip of his cock in long, slow strokes.  He moaned, barely able to contain himself.  I told him that I wanted to fuck his ass.  I got a dildo and inserted it inside him and began fucking his ass with the dildo as I fucked his cock with my lubricated hand.  He writhed around the bed, moaning loudly and begged me to let him cum.  I let him.

After a little chill time and some cuddles, I put his fingers inside me and came almost immediately.  I made quite a mess of the bed.  We talked for a while after, a long while.  I went to sleep smiling, contented, satisfied and feeling like the luckiest lady in all the world.

Picture credits

MTB16

What my dominance means to me

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image
My dominance. It’s dark. It’s rich. It’s complex. It has layers of flavor and texture and emotion, all so tangled up in each other. A scene isn’t a “scene”. Playing isn’t “play”.  This is our whole existence now.  I  know you inside out, heart, soul, brain, body, every single fibre of their being.

I am your Domme and I take my job very, very seriously. I spend a lot of time getting to know who you are, what you’ve gone through in your life, what your submission looks like… and, what it doesn’t. I need to know not just what all your boundaries are, but why you have them. I want to poke around in all the dark corners of your brain, and see what you have hiding back there, behind all of the cobwebs. I want to look at all of your carefully constructed walls and then take them apart, piece by agonizing piece. I want raw, brutal, unfiltered honesty. I want to see the you that you don’t show the rest of the world. I want to push your limits and show you that you are much more than you think you are… that you are capable of more, that you can give me more.

When we are “playing”, I am not catering to an audience. I don’t see, hear, smell or taste anyone but you, in those moments. Sometimes, I will take more than you were willing to give. Sometimes, there will be demands made of you that you don’t think you’re capable of meeting. I want to leave you shaken, torn, emptied… and then slowly put the pieces back. Not where you had them, but where I want them to be, because they are my pieces, now.  I want you to be satisfied with your experiences.  I want  you to glow inside, knowing that you are mine and mine alone.

There is an overwhelmingly violent attraction to your vulnerability. It makes me lick my teeth and eye you like my last meal. It makes me want to both devour you and nurture you. It’s a terrible duplicity that leaves me vulnerable, too.

Intimacy colours everything. I am completely and utterly in love with you and while sometimes, it’s terrifying, it’s completely worth it.  I can barely remember what my life was like before I met you.  What I was like.  I feel like me now.

I very much enjoy the softer, more sensual play lately, as I’ve gotten to know you over the past year. It’s something I like to dabble in more and more frequently.  Using and teasing your body, moulding and shaping you into what I want.  It’s almost an art form.  I think there is merit in it… in playing to someone’s sexuality, in surprising them with moments of intense pain instead of overwhelming them with it… in handfuls of hair and dark whispers.  I enjoy nothing more than watching you writhe and squirm and moan.  I love knowing that I’m responsible for your extacy, your loss of control.

I smile and add it to the list of things I enjoy doing with you. It’s a surprising revelation to me. I am not soft and gentle.  I’ve never been described as that.  I’ve been described as intimidating, but never gentle. We’ve grown together, you and I.

The Warmth

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I probably had one of the best orgasms of my life last night.  After we did some gaming (we’re currently working our way through Path of Exile again), I asked him to roll up and we had a smoke.  It hit me really really hard, like, I was completely fucked after about 10-20 minutes.  My arms felt really long and the room was wobbling.  I had trouble completing the simplest of tasks, like, shutting down my PC. 

We moved over to the sofa and he said he was going downstairs to put his new gold dress on.  This dress doesn’t look half as fabulous in the photos but here it is… it’s kind of a fake-pvc material, super shiny, super tacky but super fabulous…

While he was downstairs getting ready, it felt like an eternity.  I was totally tripping out.  I was looking around the room and everything started wobbling, the lamp was wobbling, the floor, the ceiling.  I was really chilled out.  I had issues focusing though and the only way to sustain focus seemed to be to blink really fast.  I attempted to regain my control but it seemed to be slipping from my grasp.  I fought the sub-reality with all my strength and finally, he appeared, all glammed up in his shiny new dress and looking fabulous.  He looked like a pretty mermaid.  Because he has tiny hips, the bottom of the dress sat out, giving it a fish-tailed effect.  I asked if he’d like to go downstairs.

Going to the bathroom was hard work.  Our bathroom floor has black and white tiles, like a chess board.  Every time I look down at them, I felt my reality slipping away again.  I  attempted to look up at the walls and blink really fast to get out of the bathroom asap.  I’d made it.  I headed into the bedroom and flopped down onto the bed.  He’d put some psytrance on.  I began kissing him and touching him. 

His cock felt amazing underneath the shiny dress, my hand wanted to smooth it out and rub him.  I brought him to close to orgasm a few times, using the dress as a way to bind his cock.  Sometimes I motioned that he fuck himself using the bind that I’d created, other times I fucked him softly or hard, depending on what I felt like at that time.  I told him that I might make him wait until tomorrow, just because I could.  I could see the disappointment on his face, but he took his news with grace. 

My favorite part of the session included ordering him onto his knees and spanking his pretty bottom.  It looked so amazing in the tight gold dress.  I kept him hard while I spanked him.  It felt good to have that release.  I felt like, he deserved a reward.  I rolled him over onto his back again and lifted his skirt, feeling his cock in the flesh for the first time.  It looked so pink and used and utterly delicious.  I used both hands to bring him to orgasm, one holding the base of his shaft and the other stroking him.  He came hard and he lay there shaking for about 10 minutes.  I felt a warmth spreading over me. 

I lay down and my mind started to wander.  I lay there thinking about all the things I’d like to do to him in that gold dress.  I felt his hands on me.  My body felt so sensitive, too sensitive.  Over stimulated.  I kept getting lost in the monophonic psytrance.  Sometimes I felt too much, other times I went numb.  At one point, I went numb completely from the waist down.  He suggested we go upstairs for a smoke, to clear our heads.  Eventually we did.  I’m not sure why that took so long.  It was hard to get up.  I sat up on the sofa while he had a smoke.  I ate some crisps, I think and we eventually ended up back downstairs again.

This time around, I felt a little more alert, that I might be able to sustain a train of thought long enough to reach orgasm.  I lay back and got lost as he started to rub me.  I fantacisied about having him tied up in his gold dress, about fucking him in the ass in his gold dress, about sharing a vibrator, about just kissing him while we were both dressed up in something pretty.  I then started to think about what I was wearing.  I felt a little inadequate in my worn pink nightie.  He makes so much effort for me and here I am in my ragged night dress probably looking like shit.  It’s much harder for me to get decent sexy clothes though in my size.  I always try and usually fail.  I shouldn’t be thinking about this when he’s playing with me though, insecurities aside, here he is making me feel amazing, relax and enjoy it. 

My mind wandered back to what his hand was doing, he was rubbing me and I was starting to dry up a little.  I started thinking back to what I’d just done to him and how his cock felt in my hand, how his eyes looked when I told him that he wouldn’t be allowed to cum, how my hand felt when I was spanking his little ass.  I was soaking again and his rubbing was in just the right place.  I felt my orgasm building and when it hit, it felt completely unexpected.  It shot up my spine and down my arms and legs, rendering me helpless for just a moment.  I regained control of myself and attempted to control my breathing.  I was still orgasming and continued to orgasm for what felt like ages.  The warmth spread over my body again.

How NOT to talk to women on Fetlife

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Ok, before I give you a giggle at some of the more ridiculous private messages I’ve got over the past month on Fetlife, I think it’s important to note that my profile clearly says in HUGE and clear writing that I’m in a monogamous relationship with my submissive and that I’m on Fetlife to share ideas and thoughts, not to engage in intimate conversations or seek any more submissives.  You can see that I’ve replied to some in a desperate attempt to at least make them think before PMing, and others I’ve just… well, they’re probably lost causes.

I’ve blocked any names and images for privacy reasons.

I’m here to educate, not to mock.  I think my next blog should most definitely be about “How to engage in a conversation with a female dominant”. …. I could even change that to “How to engage in conversation with any sane female”..?  Surely it can’t be so difficult?  I guess it is, considering that probably 9 out of 10 messages I get on Fetlife are like this.  No I’m not joking.  

If you have some suggestions for social interaction via BDSM sites, please feel free to send them to me.