dominant
Lethargy?
I’ve been feeling a bit emotionally fragile the past few days. I’m not really sure why. I’ve been getting enough early nights, having enough rest and chill time and eating ok. Work has been good. I’ve been having nice evenings of games, tv and cuddles.
We went to see DevilDriver on Monday night. I actually preferred their support band – Sylosis, who were fucking awesome. It was an ok gig, we didn’t get to stand as close as I’d have liked but there were too many crazies to stand any closer. After that we went back to the hotel and passed out almost immediately. Hangover came swiftly the next day and we spent most of the day zombified.
We made love on Tuesday evening. At that stage, it had been almost 4 days since my last orgasm. I was pretty tense, pent up and almost an emotional wreck. We hadn’t purposley planned on not playing for that long – I think he just had a few days where he was more tired than normal. We had lots of slow, touching, kissing, licking, nibbling, cuddling foreplay, followed by me climbing on top of him and fucking him very slowly until we both came. It was deeply satisfying. We cuddled afterwards, our naked bodies pressed close for warmth.
We had another play session on Wednesday evening, an intensely passionate affair of rubbing and touching. I used a tenga egg on him, he seemed to enjoy it, even though it popped off during the end when he was orgasm, I tried my best to compensate with my hand. I think I succeeded for the most part.
Last night, we played games and watched some tv. I don’t mind the days where we don’t have sex. But sometimes it’s hard for me not to touch him, or strip him or pin him down and use him. I feel like those things would be a breach of what we have – which is trust and respect. I try my best to behave, but sometimes when he’s sitting there, lost in his own little world of spreadsheets and tea, I want to grab him and make him mine again.
I feel like we haven’t done anything terribly kinky in a while. That’s partly due to it being winter and I don’t enjoy putting him in discomfort by making him stark naked on a freezing cold night and partly because it seems like he hasn’t really been all that interested lately in being tied up or pegged (i fucking hate that word) or dressed up, etc. It might be lack of energy, but either way, I don’t like to push when it feels like I’m being unfair. I understand that people aren’t always in the mood or don’t have the energy„ etc. At the same time, I feel like I don’t want to get into a routine of sex where we’re always doing the same thing or using the quickest method to “get off”. Sex and exploring sex is something that I am really passionately enjoy and I’ve just felt like we’ve been a bit lazy recently. When we planned on doing something like, having a dress up day or a green day, etc, it’s not happened. We’ve just lazied around and not done it.
I hate summer, but perhaps sunshine and warmth will give us a bit more energy.
Pancake Tuesday
Last night was a tantalising mix of orgasm denial and forced orgasm. The evening started with a slow, lazy relaxing shared bath. I had it ready for him coming in from work. We sat there and soaked, had a smoke and drank some tea. After that I prepared a strange dinner of crepes, bacon and vanilla icecream – it was Pancake Tuesday so that had to be honoured. Afterward we cuddled up on the couch and watched and spent the evening watching Better Off Ted (season 1, which I’d totally recommend) and having a smoke. We ambled down to bed at around midnight and cuddled / chatted for a bit.
My hands started wandering, as they always do when I have a lovely naked man in my bed. I began stroking him ever so slowly and softly. I told him that I wanted to use him tonight and that I wouldn’t be letting him cum for a few days. He grew harder at the prospect and lay there moaning as I brought him up to orgasm over and over again, stopping just before he couldn’t handle anymore. I decided to have one myself so I fucked him for a little bit until I came.
Afterward I held him for another while and began teasing him again, bringing him close to orgasm then stopping. He came so very close, so many times, while i used so many different techniques. One of my favourite techniques to use is getting him so horny that merely rubbing his cock with one hand, without gripping, is enough to almost send him over the edge. Without warning, I sped up and he exploded in my hand. He’d had a rough day, I wasn’t going to let him go to sleep without a nice orgasm.. He is my little pet afterall.
Slow, lazy January evening.
My poor little pet hasn’t been so well the last couple of days. He’s got some kind of chesty throat thing. I’ve been taking care of him as best I can, but I always feel kind of helpless when he’s ill.
Last night we watched a few movies together, had a smoke and ambled downstairs. I was expecting another early night, in order to help get him over his infection, but he arrived into the room in the new leather dress I’d bought for him. I was horny instantly.
He was crouching on the bed attempting to fix spotify on his Nexus so that we could listen to music. This gave me full access to the glory that is his cute little ass. It was exposed under the short leather dress, perfectly rounded and delicious. It looked good enough to eat. I rubbed it a little, the sensitive parts, to gauge his reaction. He moaned a little bit, I was distracting him from completing his task. I pulled on his cock gently with the other hand and proceeded to rub his ass. He was already hard and struggling to remain focused on the device in his hands.
The music started and he signed with relief as he could now fully enjoy the pleasure being given to him. His body looked amazing in the tight leather dress, I enjoyed the feeling of running my fingers over it. I left him temporarily and told him to get comfortable. I’d acquired a vibrating prostate stimulator and a bottle of lube. I toyed with his ass a little bit before inserting the toy. It slid in easily, he wanted to be filled up and used. I fucked him gently with it at first, very gently, used it to bring him into that lovely euphoric state I like to keep him in for so many of our sessions together.
After a while of teasing, I switched the vibrator on. I began fucking him as I used his cock with my other hand. The feel of the leather against my wrist, the way his ass looked and the noises he was making indicated that he would soon cum. He asked for permission to cum pretty quickly and thanked me when I granted it. He came hard, very hard, a lot of cum and slumped on the bed. He was exhausted. I cleaned the bed up and got back in.
We chatted for a while after that. Both being quite stoned, about a wide variety of unrelated topics. I love talking with him. A lot of his views are very similar to my own and he’s intelligent. That’s one of the sexiest things about him. His big, beautiful brain.
I was soaking from before, when I felt his little hand edging it’s way downward, I smiled and rolled over onto my back and removed my panties. I was expecting a short playtime, mainly because, he’s still quite sick and he was probably tired after his own, but I was mistaken. He toyed with me for quite a long time, and I really enjoyed it. A lot of the time, I can’t handle being teased much, particularly after not orgasming for several days, but whatever it was he was doing, I wanted more of it. I was enjoying the long, slow build up.
I love watching him when he’s playing with me, I can see him concentrating on his task but also getting aroused, which arouses me even more. I love the way he makes me feel. When I did cum, it almost made me pass out…. It was the most intense orgasm I’ve had so far, in my whole life, to date. I say “to date” because he’s only ever gotten better over the past year. It never feels the same, he’s always trying new things and touching me in different ways… it was absolute heaven though. I lay there unmoving for a good 10 minutes, or what felt like an eternity. I felt truly and utterly spent, satisfied and elated.
(pic source: http://www.deviantart.com/art/here-hair-everywhere-391560440)
Genitals
Some femmes are dominant and some butches are submissive. Some men have vaginas and some women have penises. Sometimes what you call a clit is called a dick by it’s owner, and sometimes a dick is really a clit. Some straight men want to be penetrated and some straight women want to do it. Sometimes people aren’t men or women at all and sometimes genitals aren’t a black and white issue. Sometimes people are different to you, and always, we need to accept this.
Hi. I really need some advice if thats okay? I’m considering entering into a kind of dom/sub relationship with a man and I am freaking out a bit. I haven’t done this kind of thing before, although I’ve always wanted to and I really don’t know all that much and I’m really worried about fucking this up and fucking him up and hurting him in some way. Any advice or direction you can point me in would be great!
I’m going to assume that you’re intending to be the dominant part of this relationship? Is it a relationship purely based around d/s only – or do you intend on spending lots of time with this person?
It depends on what kind of relationship you want to have. What I’d do, is sit down and have a chat about what his limits might be – everyone has them… some people are into pain, some people are into a little bit of pain mixed with pleasure, some people aren’t into pain at all. All of those are fine. As well as pain, limits can also include humiliation, dressing up, dirty talk.. and probably a few other things I’ve missed.
Some guys like being pegged, others enjoy being held in chastity… some guys like being teased for hours on end and then being given a ruined orgasm. That’s all very well and good, but a lot about it is what YOU enjoy doing too. Ask yourself these questions:-
1. What do you enjoy about being in control?
2. What activities do you enjoy performing on a man for your own sexual gratification?
3. What do you want to get out of a session?
4. Do you have any particular fetishes that you want to throw into the mix?
Relationships, even D/s ones have to be 50/50. If your submissive isn’t enjoying what you’re doing to him, then you won’t get as much enjoyment out of it either. Having complete control over someone is knowing what they enjoy and knowing how to manipulate that for your own benefit. Many dommes make the mistake of just “using men” to get what they want. But it can be so much more than that. Giving pleasure can be just as fun as receiving it.
As well as talking to your partner about what things you both enjoy, limits, etc, it’s also pretty important to get feedback after a session. This goes for both parties – he might do something that you find irritating or you might have pushed him a little bit too far or done something that he didn’t particularly enjoy. Sitting back and getting perspective on what happened, asking for both negative and positive feedback is only ever a good thing. Any good d/s relationship will have this kind of interaction.
For safety 101, start here: http://evilmonk.org//a/health00.cfm
You won’t find a better BDSM safety starter guide than that.
#1 tip: Don’t watch Femdom porn for ideas.
If he isn’t much into pain, you might want to try the softer side of domination. You can read a bit about this here: http://gamerdomme.tumblr.com/post/64289393896/what-is-sensual-domination
I like to combine a nice mix of both. Even the most hardcore masochists will have nights where they come home from work and aren’t particularly in the mood for loads of pain… they might just want to be held. Even if someone is into pain, it doesn’t mean they’re into pain all the time… quite a lot of d/s relationships revolve around reading your partner’s mood, or if you don’t know – asking them. Relationships that revolve entirely around what one person wants – vanilla or D/S – usually end in a lot of unhappiness from both parties.
If you have any other questions, give me a shout. Best of luck.
Video Posted on Updated on
What dating would be like if men and women switched their roles.
I think I was born the wrong gender.
Weekend Birthday Fun
Friday was good. He didn’t have internet at work, which meant we were back to oldschool texting. It was fun, felt like we were dating again. I got him to go into the bathroom at work and take me a naughty picture…. or well, I asked him to take one. I said “take a picture of the camera looking down on yourself so I can see your cock” and he ended up misunderstanding and taking a really cute picture of himself looking at his belly… we laughed pretty hard about it when we both realised that it was completely silly.
When he got home from work, we were both pretty worked up. I went downstairs for a nap, he joined me after his shower. I bent him over the bed and licked his pretty little ass as I worked on his cock. He moaned like a whore and I made him cum. He’d had a pretty stressful day at work so I figured I’d release him early and let him have a relaxing evening. He made me cum after. It was short, but sweet.
On Saturday evening, after gaming for most of the day, we had a smoke. I asked him to put his rubber skirt on and told him that he could decide on the rest of the outfit himself. He came upstairs in rubber stockings, skirt and a red pvc corset, and his collar. He looked delicious. I started off filling a bowl with hot soapy water and proceeded to clean the rubber until it was really shiny. I got a lot more pleasure from that than I’d anticipated. It was quite a different sensation. I took pride in making each little part of the rubber shine. His ass looked amazing. I probably spent too long rubbing it.
Afterwards, I put him on the floor and bound him in pvc tape by the ankles, with his wrists behind his back, also bound. I started rubbing his cock through the rubber with my hot soapy cloth, sliding it up and down. He seemed to quite enjoy it. I brought him up to orgasm. He came without producing semen. Pleased, I moved onto the vibrator, bringing him up to the same position – orgasm, but no cum. He was starting to tire at that stage (about an hour and a half into the session), so I removed the bindings, the corset, the skirt and put him up on the sofa. He was naked now, sensitive to the touch. I adorned my latex gloves, lubed my hand up and gave him a nice slow, sensual, hard orgasm. He came everywhere. It was very pleasing.
On Sunday, we went and watched the new Hobbit film (which you should totally see in 3D), which was really awesome and then had a nice meal. That evening, we played some Path, and he gave me my amazing birthday present … which is secretly something I’ve been wanting for ages now, but felt too guilty to spend the money on… a pair of GHDs! Tested them out last night, I literally have the straightest hair ever. So yeah, that was a pretty amazing birthday weekend all around.
Sex, Video Games and Rock n Roll
Friday evening saw us having a really lazy evening. I didn’t even bother cooking. Got a load of “snacks” from the shop on the way home from work which included chocolate, crisps, popcorn, and other nibbles. We had a smoke, watched a film and snuggled up on the sofa. We stopped at 8pm to do a few of the Path of Exile races. We retired to the sofa again. We were watching Bathory – a film about a hungarian lady in the 15th century. It was pretty cool. My hand wandered down his chest and I played with him until he came.
Saturday I was woken early by the cat, and got up and made our favorite breakfast (sausage, eggs, potato bread and ketchup). We sat down on the couch to eat it and watched another film. We were having an “epics” weekend, so we watched Kingdom of Heaven, Troy.. The day progressed and we moved from the sofa to the PC, some path of exile, and back again. So it continued in a lazy haze. In the evening, I ran a bath for us and we sat there in the bath for ages having a good old chat about random stuff. Afterwards, I lay an outfit on the bed for him… a blue dress with a frilly ballerina skirt and a frilly red petticoat. He adorned it and I met him upstairs again. I put some music on, I think we listened to Opeth.
I placed him on his knees on the couch, the back of it supporting most of his body and bound his wrists to the bannister. I decided to for a non-vibrating toy, as it had been a while since I used that one. It’s a nexus glide, he quite enjoys it – it’s a hard toy so it’s a little trickier to get in than a jelly toy. Once inside, my right hand worked on stimulating his prostate with the toy while my left worked on gently stimulating his cock. I had him gagged. I kept him on edge for a very long time. Halfway through, I decided to lube my left hand up as well and proceeded to fuck him in the ass with the toy as his cock was forced in and out of my slippery hand. He came pretty hard and sat there for a while, dangling off his binds and shaking. I love how his body quivers when he orgasms. I love holding him afterwards.
By Sunday, my period was completely gone. We did the usual stuff during the day. Our tastes in films switched to vampire films and we ended up watching Interview with a Vampire and Underworld. We took a shower later that evening and afterward, he surprised me by dressing up in his fabulous long, gold evening dress. He looked divine. I was so pleased that he’d decided to dress up for me, without my instruction. I welcomed him into bed and rubbed his cock through his dress for a little bit. I lay on my back giving him full run of my body. I was looking forward to my orgasm so much, with the period – it felt like my body was going to explode… it’d been days since I’d cum. After a while, he asked if he wanted him to lick me. I told him that I’d like that very much, and he proceeded downwards. The images of the weekend were fresh in my head, and I could feel myself building up more and more. Each stroke of his tongue drove me crazy. His beard rubbed softly against my clit and his fingers penetrated me teasing my g-spot.
I was soaking, I was also a little tense as I felt like I was about to unleash a waterfall onto his face while he was licking me. Just before he made me cum, I stopped him and told him to fuck me. Every thrust felt like heaven. I love the way his body moves and his hair falls over his face. I love the way his back arches. I came hard and fast but that wasn’t it over… After some sensitivity, I allowed him to continue because it still felt amazing and I wanted more, he made me cum again and again. The orgasms melted into each other and into my body. I almost blacked out. He came on my third and I saw stars. It was incredible. My whole body felt like it was no longer aching and wanting, that it was completely and utterly at peace. I slumped for a few minutes. The orgasms gave me a little burst of energy and I asked him if he wanted to go upstairs again and play some more Path. So we did.
Image credits
niavaah
Miss-Sheepy
Vampval
What my dominance means to me
I am your Domme and I take my job very, very seriously. I spend a lot of time getting to know who you are, what you’ve gone through in your life, what your submission looks like… and, what it doesn’t. I need to know not just what all your boundaries are, but why you have them. I want to poke around in all the dark corners of your brain, and see what you have hiding back there, behind all of the cobwebs. I want to look at all of your carefully constructed walls and then take them apart, piece by agonizing piece. I want raw, brutal, unfiltered honesty. I want to see the you that you don’t show the rest of the world. I want to push your limits and show you that you are much more than you think you are… that you are capable of more, that you can give me more.
When we are “playing”, I am not catering to an audience. I don’t see, hear, smell or taste anyone but you, in those moments. Sometimes, I will take more than you were willing to give. Sometimes, there will be demands made of you that you don’t think you’re capable of meeting. I want to leave you shaken, torn, emptied… and then slowly put the pieces back. Not where you had them, but where I want them to be, because they are my pieces, now. I want you to be satisfied with your experiences. I want you to glow inside, knowing that you are mine and mine alone.
There is an overwhelmingly violent attraction to your vulnerability. It makes me lick my teeth and eye you like my last meal. It makes me want to both devour you and nurture you. It’s a terrible duplicity that leaves me vulnerable, too.
Intimacy colours everything. I am completely and utterly in love with you and while sometimes, it’s terrifying, it’s completely worth it. I can barely remember what my life was like before I met you. What I was like. I feel like me now.
I very much enjoy the softer, more sensual play lately, as I’ve gotten to know you over the past year. It’s something I like to dabble in more and more frequently. Using and teasing your body, moulding and shaping you into what I want. It’s almost an art form. I think there is merit in it… in playing to someone’s sexuality, in surprising them with moments of intense pain instead of overwhelming them with it… in handfuls of hair and dark whispers. I enjoy nothing more than watching you writhe and squirm and moan. I love knowing that I’m responsible for your extacy, your loss of control.
I smile and add it to the list of things I enjoy doing with you. It’s a surprising revelation to me. I am not soft and gentle. I’ve never been described as that. I’ve been described as intimidating, but never gentle. We’ve grown together, you and I.
Gamerdomme 