I’ve been feeling a bit emotionally fragile the past few days. I’m not really sure why. I’ve been getting enough early nights, having enough rest and chill time and eating ok. Work has been good. I’ve been having nice evenings of games, tv and cuddles.
We went to see DevilDriver on Monday night. I actually preferred their support band – Sylosis, who were fucking awesome. It was an ok gig, we didn’t get to stand as close as I’d have liked but there were too many crazies to stand any closer. After that we went back to the hotel and passed out almost immediately. Hangover came swiftly the next day and we spent most of the day zombified.
We made love on Tuesday evening. At that stage, it had been almost 4 days since my last orgasm. I was pretty tense, pent up and almost an emotional wreck. We hadn’t purposley planned on not playing for that long – I think he just had a few days where he was more tired than normal. We had lots of slow, touching, kissing, licking, nibbling, cuddling foreplay, followed by me climbing on top of him and fucking him very slowly until we both came. It was deeply satisfying. We cuddled afterwards, our naked bodies pressed close for warmth.
We had another play session on Wednesday evening, an intensely passionate affair of rubbing and touching. I used a tenga egg on him, he seemed to enjoy it, even though it popped off during the end when he was orgasm, I tried my best to compensate with my hand. I think I succeeded for the most part.
Last night, we played games and watched some tv. I don’t mind the days where we don’t have sex. But sometimes it’s hard for me not to touch him, or strip him or pin him down and use him. I feel like those things would be a breach of what we have – which is trust and respect. I try my best to behave, but sometimes when he’s sitting there, lost in his own little world of spreadsheets and tea, I want to grab him and make him mine again.
I feel like we haven’t done anything terribly kinky in a while. That’s partly due to it being winter and I don’t enjoy putting him in discomfort by making him stark naked on a freezing cold night and partly because it seems like he hasn’t really been all that interested lately in being tied up or pegged (i fucking hate that word) or dressed up, etc. It might be lack of energy, but either way, I don’t like to push when it feels like I’m being unfair. I understand that people aren’t always in the mood or don’t have the energy„ etc. At the same time, I feel like I don’t want to get into a routine of sex where we’re always doing the same thing or using the quickest method to “get off”. Sex and exploring sex is something that I am really passionately enjoy and I’ve just felt like we’ve been a bit lazy recently. When we planned on doing something like, having a dress up day or a green day, etc, it’s not happened. We’ve just lazied around and not done it.
I hate summer, but perhaps sunshine and warmth will give us a bit more energy.
Last night was a tantalising mix of orgasm denial and forced orgasm. The evening started with a slow, lazy relaxing shared bath. I had it ready for him coming in from work. We sat there and soaked, had a smoke and drank some tea. After that I prepared a strange dinner of crepes, bacon and vanilla icecream – it was Pancake Tuesday so that had to be honoured. Afterward we cuddled up on the couch and watched and spent the evening watching Better Off Ted (season 1, which I’d totally recommend) and having a smoke. We ambled down to bed at around midnight and cuddled / chatted for a bit.
My hands started wandering, as they always do when I have a lovely naked man in my bed. I began stroking him ever so slowly and softly. I told him that I wanted to use him tonight and that I wouldn’t be letting him cum for a few days. He grew harder at the prospect and lay there moaning as I brought him up to orgasm over and over again, stopping just before he couldn’t handle anymore. I decided to have one myself so I fucked him for a little bit until I came.
Afterward I held him for another while and began teasing him again, bringing him close to orgasm then stopping. He came so very close, so many times, while i used so many different techniques. One of my favourite techniques to use is getting him so horny that merely rubbing his cock with one hand, without gripping, is enough to almost send him over the edge. Without warning, I sped up and he exploded in my hand. He’d had a rough day, I wasn’t going to let him go to sleep without a nice orgasm.. He is my little pet afterall.
My poor little pet hasn’t been so well the last couple of days. He’s got some kind of chesty throat thing. I’ve been taking care of him as best I can, but I always feel kind of helpless when he’s ill.
Last night we watched a few movies together, had a smoke and ambled downstairs. I was expecting another early night, in order to help get him over his infection, but he arrived into the room in the new leather dress I’d bought for him. I was horny instantly.
He was crouching on the bed attempting to fix spotify on his Nexus so that we could listen to music. This gave me full access to the glory that is his cute little ass. It was exposed under the short leather dress, perfectly rounded and delicious. It looked good enough to eat. I rubbed it a little, the sensitive parts, to gauge his reaction. He moaned a little bit, I was distracting him from completing his task. I pulled on his cock gently with the other hand and proceeded to rub his ass. He was already hard and struggling to remain focused on the device in his hands.
The music started and he signed with relief as he could now fully enjoy the pleasure being given to him. His body looked amazing in the tight leather dress, I enjoyed the feeling of running my fingers over it. I left him temporarily and told him to get comfortable. I’d acquired a vibrating prostate stimulator and a bottle of lube. I toyed with his ass a little bit before inserting the toy. It slid in easily, he wanted to be filled up and used. I fucked him gently with it at first, very gently, used it to bring him into that lovely euphoric state I like to keep him in for so many of our sessions together.
After a while of teasing, I switched the vibrator on. I began fucking him as I used his cock with my other hand. The feel of the leather against my wrist, the way his ass looked and the noises he was making indicated that he would soon cum. He asked for permission to cum pretty quickly and thanked me when I granted it. He came hard, very hard, a lot of cum and slumped on the bed. He was exhausted. I cleaned the bed up and got back in.
We chatted for a while after that. Both being quite stoned, about a wide variety of unrelated topics. I love talking with him. A lot of his views are very similar to my own and he’s intelligent. That’s one of the sexiest things about him. His big, beautiful brain.
I was soaking from before, when I felt his little hand edging it’s way downward, I smiled and rolled over onto my back and removed my panties. I was expecting a short playtime, mainly because, he’s still quite sick and he was probably tired after his own, but I was mistaken. He toyed with me for quite a long time, and I really enjoyed it. A lot of the time, I can’t handle being teased much, particularly after not orgasming for several days, but whatever it was he was doing, I wanted more of it. I was enjoying the long, slow build up.
I love watching him when he’s playing with me, I can see him concentrating on his task but also getting aroused, which arouses me even more. I love the way he makes me feel. When I did cum, it almost made me pass out…. It was the most intense orgasm I’ve had so far, in my whole life, to date. I say “to date” because he’s only ever gotten better over the past year. It never feels the same, he’s always trying new things and touching me in different ways… it was absolute heaven though. I lay there unmoving for a good 10 minutes, or what felt like an eternity. I felt truly and utterly spent, satisfied and elated.
Some femmes are dominant and some butches are submissive. Some men have vaginas and some women have penises. Sometimes what you call a clit is called a dick by it’s owner, and sometimes a dick is really a clit. Some straight men want to be penetrated and some straight women want to do it. Sometimes people aren’t men or women at all and sometimes genitals aren’t a black and white issue. Sometimes people are different to you, and always, we need to accept this.
Hi. I really need some advice if thats okay? I’m considering entering into a kind of dom/sub relationship with a man and I am freaking out a bit. I haven’t done this kind of thing before, although I’ve always wanted to and I really don’t know all that much and I’m really worried about fucking this up and fucking him up and hurting him in some way. Any advice or direction you can point me in would be great!
I’m going to assume that you’re intending to be the dominant part of this relationship? Is it a relationship purely based around d/s only – or do you intend on spending lots of time with this person?
It depends on what kind of relationship you want to have. What I’d do, is sit down and have a chat about what his limits might be – everyone has them… some people are into pain, some people are into a little bit of pain mixed with pleasure, some people aren’t into pain at all. All of those are fine. As well as pain, limits can also include humiliation, dressing up, dirty talk.. and probably a few other things I’ve missed.
Some guys like being pegged, others enjoy being held in chastity… some guys like being teased for hours on end and then being given a ruined orgasm. That’s all very well and good, but a lot about it is what YOU enjoy doing too. Ask yourself these questions:-
1. What do you enjoy about being in control?
2. What activities do you enjoy performing on a man for your own sexual gratification?
3. What do you want to get out of a session?
4. Do you have any particular fetishes that you want to throw into the mix?
Relationships, even D/s ones have to be 50/50. If your submissive isn’t enjoying what you’re doing to him, then you won’t get as much enjoyment out of it either. Having complete control over someone is knowing what they enjoy and knowing how to manipulate that for your own benefit. Many dommes make the mistake of just “using men” to get what they want. But it can be so much more than that. Giving pleasure can be just as fun as receiving it.
As well as talking to your partner about what things you both enjoy, limits, etc, it’s also pretty important to get feedback after a session. This goes for both parties – he might do something that you find irritating or you might have pushed him a little bit too far or done something that he didn’t particularly enjoy. Sitting back and getting perspective on what happened, asking for both negative and positive feedback is only ever a good thing. Any good d/s relationship will have this kind of interaction.
For safety 101, start here: http://evilmonk.org//a/health00.cfm
You won’t find a better BDSM safety starter guide than that.
#1 tip: Don’t watch Femdom porn for ideas.
If he isn’t much into pain, you might want to try the softer side of domination. You can read a bit about this here: http://gamerdomme.tumblr.com/post/64289393896/what-is-sensual-domination
I like to combine a nice mix of both. Even the most hardcore masochists will have nights where they come home from work and aren’t particularly in the mood for loads of pain… they might just want to be held. Even if someone is into pain, it doesn’t mean they’re into pain all the time… quite a lot of d/s relationships revolve around reading your partner’s mood, or if you don’t know – asking them. Relationships that revolve entirely around what one person wants – vanilla or D/S – usually end in a lot of unhappiness from both parties.
If you have any other questions, give me a shout. Best of luck.